Nike To Native Americans: Your Moccasins Are Making You Fat

Illustration for article titled Nike To Native Americans: Your Moccasins Are Making You Fat

Nike is producing a special line of not-for-profit shoes just for Native Americans. Not only does the design feature several of what the company terms "heritage callouts" — sunrise patterns, feather designs, war paint and the like — but it was specially engineered for Native American feet, which are apparently (cough) wider than average white man feet, a trait that doesn't exactly end at the ankle if ya see what we're saying.

"Nike is aware of the growing health issues facing Native Americans," said Sam McCracken, manager of Nike's Native American Business program.

Ha ha, "growing" problems... Okay, so: Native Americans are on the larger side, like many impoverished minorities in this country, because of a combination of economic and historical and policy-related factors you don't need me to rehash here.

So why they don't they offer discounted shoes in honor of all the other minorities with health problems? Ha ha ha, because they're the ones that pay full price for Nikes in the first place. (And shut up, all you white dudes hoarding 500 pairs of deadstock Jordans or whatever: you're outnumbered by the minorities; I have seen the studies.)


Which sorta prompts the question: why hasn't all that sneaker-buying made America's minorities thin? Probably because buying shoes is not usually the answer to your problems. Though it's nice that Nike's trying to spread the false hope to the poors! Although we really didn't think they could get more retarded than the time they tried to manufacture shoes their factory workers could afford. Or the time they ripped off that Minor Threat poster. So glad to know we're wrong!

Sneakers For Native Americans [CNN]

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Oh gosh, JRae, don't even get me started on the things we should be teaching our kids but don't. When I take over Margaret Spellings' job and do a sweeping national curriculum reform, our future kids will be learning conflict resolution tactics, economic principles, budgeting skills, world religions, foreign languages, nutrition and meal planning, sex education, women's studies, world history from multiple standpoints, comparative literature, critical thinking skills, philosophy, and political science, among many other disciplines and areas of knowledge.

CeeGeeMcBeeGee: The parents can afford it because they're not paying for things that many middle-class and upper-class families do, such as health insurance. Which was interesting, because since a lot of my kids had iPods and cell phones and brand-name clothing, they believed that were not as poor as they truly were. They're also not buying things like books, generally—not because they don't think they're important, but probably because you don't tend to see a Barnes and Noble in a place like Kensington in Philadelphia. I used to get so many sick notes from the local hospital—kids had to go to the emergency room for something as minor as strep throat because their families didn't have the health insurance to visit a physician. For a while, when I first started teaching there, I thought, wow, some of the parents here are so ignorant, and they're teaching their kids to be materialistic. Now I realize that the parents probably bust their ass to buy their kid a Baby Phat jacket so the kid will never have to realize how precarious their financial position is. It's funny, even something as minor as being able to buy your lunch at the corner store and refuse your government-funded free meal becomes something of a status thing among the kids—some of them would make fun of the others for taking the free meal, even though this was a school where like 99% qualified for free lunch. And did you ever take a look at those lunches? Straight up nasty. I'd drop the cash on BK any day.