- So, the "pregnancy rumors" are just a ploy to keep Nicole Richie out of jail! This is so silly we are nominating it for a MacArthur "Genius" Fellowship in Absurdity. It's like if Banksy were a publicist. [Page Six]
- Mandy Moore tells Blender it was "tacky" of Wilmer Valderrama to tell everyone about how he took her virginity. Especially when so many other twenty-something male stars manage to make their appearances on Howard Stern so totally refined and cerebral. [Rush & Molloy]
- It is possible to simultaneously be stupid famous and celebrate your 21st birthday barf-free. Next the Olsen twins are going to drive sober, eschew coke, have low-key bachelorette parties, and still somehow be famous. Because they are thin! [Page Six]
- There's a new scandal about Las Vegas authorities allowing into the public record the "wild and unsubstantiated claims" that former President Bill Clinton had been a client of a whorehouse. Nice try, New York Post, but the feds already committed to public record the fucking Starr report. [Page Six]
- Did you know Paris is still in jail? That Lindsay sometimes drives drunk? That confidentiality clauses are not always so much effective? Then the news on TMZ today will not be so like shocking. [TMZ]
- Naomi Campbell's old assistant settles on unspecified cash for assault by Blackberry, not to be confused with the assault by jewel-encrusted mobile phone or the assault by hotel land line. [ Yahoo News]
- The San Antonio Spurs won the NBA Finals. It's their fourth title since 1999 so they're getting very close to that place where the Chicago Bulls were when those pictures of Michael Jordan and his five championship rings were so ubiquitous, except that their form of Michael Jordan is this really geeky Caribbean with a voice like Colin Powell's and their form of "Chicago" is "San Antonio" and the kid who's getting paid nine figures to be the "next Jordan" was on the team the Spurs clobbered in four straight games. So yes, branding=everything. [Sports Illustrated]
You know what's tacky? Fucking Wilmer Vaderrama. ew.