Nick Jonas Drops Pants, Grabs Dick, Proves Existence of God

Two weeks ago, Nick Jonas played in San Francisco and the line of men and women of all ages stretched around the block. Why? It could be his music, his nostalgic appeal or (most likely) the fact that grown-up Nick is hella hot and has a penchant for dropping trou. Warning: NSFW

In honor of showing off his new “all growed up” image, Jonas posed for this month’s issue of Flaunt Magazine, a publication I am unfamiliar with but may now choose to subscribe to because ass dimples. The pictorial starts off with Nick in a giant sweater (yawn) but quickly gets pretty steamy when he doffs his shirt, drops his pants and grabs his manhood (that word is so gross but I must use it) in a homage to Marky Mark (also an excellent pants-dropper).

Here are some more choice pics:

And here is his butt cleavage: (Which only I seem to appreciate.) (Whatever, it’s glorious.)

I don’t know what this will do for Jonas’ career, but he is starring in a new show and playing small clubs while his brothers are doing contract work for The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Kevin) and something to do with life (Joe).

If the photos aren’t enough, Nick’s abs have inspired some poignant fan fiction, rivaling anything you could read in one those 50 Shades of Grey books. Because check this out:

“I see…” said Nick Jonas’ rock hard abs thoughtfully, staring out from behind a thin sheen of baby oil that sparkled with each flash from the photographer’s camera. For a long time the six pack just sat there, taking in the scene with the gravity of a muscle who spent its morning doing nothing but hundreds and hundreds of crunches. It was the kind of look someone gets from surviving on only kale and egg whites for three weeks straight. Tortured, but worth it.

Uh, yeah, I could read about Nick Jonas’ abs all day. I could also spend fifteen minutes looking for the best pictures of him to drop into the staff chat room, but that would be crazy and also inappropriate for the office, right? (Did it anyway.)