This is why we can't have nice things.

Carrying one's partner over a threshold is an archaic practice that is meant to symbolize a husband stealing a wife into a new life/making sure everyone knows the bride isn't that excited to get some peen. It's fussy and old and should be done away with, especially because unlike the olden days, when no one had cameras and pictures had to be painstakingly scraped into walls, now everyone has a cell phone which will take a shitty video of you tripping over your feet and dropping your NOT TOO EXCITED ABOUT THAT PENETRATION partner on the floor before falling on them. And, since the sound is so good, your wedding day will always be remembered as the one where someone loudly screamed "oh shit!" in the video.

Congratulations to the bride and groom! May your marriage be a long happy one free of kidnapping and death by plague!

H/T: Uproxx