New Mom Aishwarya Rai Is Too Fat, Say Assholes

Illustration for article titled New Mom Aishwarya Rai Is Too Fat, Say Assholes

Heaven forbid a woman gestate a human and not instantaneously return to super-svelte shape! The Indian media have proved themselves every bit as concerntrolly as their US counterparts after commentators went after Bollywood legend Aishwarya Rai — not only for selfishly getting pregnant, but also for having the nerve to not shed pounds immediately following the birth. (Her new baby is a mere six months old.) Causing outrage after getting snapped looking roughly 0.00067% less hot than normal on her way to a party for UN secretary general Ban Ki-Moon, Rai's been likened to an elephant on one website — complete with trumpeting sound effects — resulting in some impassioned commentary. "She is a Bollywood actress and it is her duty to look good and fit," typed one commenter, with another adding: "She needs to learn from people like Victoria Beckham who are back to size zero weeks after their delivery." WTF! Oh, Ban is thought to have asked her to be the global face of the UN's girl child campaign at the party, but surely those girls deserve a gaunter face to look up to. Amirite, ladies? [SMH]

Illustration for article titled New Mom Aishwarya Rai Is Too Fat, Say Assholes

For her part, Jessica Simpson agrees, and can't wait to drop her baby weight. Though she does have a $4 million carrot in the form of a Weight Watcher's contract dangling in front of her. "As soon as Jessica heals from the C-section, she is extremely determined to get back in the gym and work out," said someone. "She wants to show the world and is excited to do it." [Us]

Illustration for article titled New Mom Aishwarya Rai Is Too Fat, Say Assholes

Funny for us, shit-your-pants scary for Michael Caine: the actor got locked in his dressing room overnight after falling asleep while on a break from shooting Now You See Me. Oh, said dressing room happened to be in the attic of an old, disused New Orleans theatre. "His mobile phone was in his trailer, and there was no electricity in the attic, meaning he couldn't see a thing," said a crewmember. "It was pitch black. Michael started shouting for help, but no one could hear him." [Page Six]

Illustration for article titled New Mom Aishwarya Rai Is Too Fat, Say Assholes

We can all exhale, because Nick Stahl has been spotted since his wife reported him missing yesterday — carrying packing boxes outside an apartment complex in West Hollywood. But you might want to inhale again real quick because it might mean their current custody battle is getting nasty. "He does this sometimes," said a know-it-all eyewitness. "He'll be back." [E!]

Illustration for article titled New Mom Aishwarya Rai Is Too Fat, Say Assholes

Now I don't know about you but I was sick of these prick teasing masseurs talking a big game when it came to John Travolta but refusing to do us a solid by actually putting out. Luckily, the latest accuser said he took up the challenge and can report back that Travolta is a passionate lover. "He's a great kisser. I know because I had sex with him, and he loved it," said Luis Gonzalez. "I gladly let him lay on the table naked… and within five minutes, Travolta spread his legs and I could see an erection. He moved around and started to breathe heavily. He'd say, ‘Oh, yeah, that feels so good! A little higher, please!' We got into the bed that was right next to the massage table and had a really good time." [NYDN]
A gym employee has also come forward to add his name to the pile. [Radar]

Illustration for article titled New Mom Aishwarya Rai Is Too Fat, Say Assholes

Reports from questionable sources claim that Raven Symone is a lesbian, doesn't care what her family thinks, and is in love with a woman named AzMarie, who was on cycle 18 of America's Next Top Model. Congrats? Sounds like good times all around. [ONTD]

  • Drake and Chris Brown think Rihanna is a total slut. [Ebony]
  • Suicide fears and divorce drama are the themes in a new daytime drama-esque biography of Barack Obama. [Page Six]
  • Gentlemen who prefer a more experience lady, be advised: 52-year-old Linda Hogan has called off her engagement to 23-year-old boyfriend Charley Hill. [NYDN]
  • Courntey Stodden recreates Bo Derek's hair-braided, gold-swimsuited run. God bless you everyone! [NYDN]
  • They seemed pretty well-suited at the time, but Billy Bob Thornton says he was "too insecure" to stay married to Angelina Jolie. [NYDN]
  • Want to watch what's going to happen in the next season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians? Me neither. [E!]
  • Brooklyn Decker confirms what we've long suspected – that she was named after a horse. [Us]
  • Mark Ronson says that Amy Winehouse was freaked out by Adele and, though she liked her, fretted about her fellow singer's success shortly before her death. [Us]
  • Sofia Vergara's favorite gourmet fish dish looks like fake vomit with a garnish on top. [People]
  • Janet Jackson says she doesn't weigh herself anymore because it's as unhealthy as shit. [People]
  • Her trust fund was, in fact, largely funded by the gays, so it's great that Lourdes Leon is pro-gay marriage. [INF]
  • Bringing it up two times in as many months, Kristen Stewart is really angling for a role in the movie adaptation of Fifty Shades Of Grey alongside Robert Pattinson. [Celebuzz]
  • Charlize Theron isn't a fan of German philosophy: "You know what I can't stand? I hate actors who come and quote Nietzsche. I don't like pretentious shit." [Celebitchy]
  • The cast of The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills strike fear into our hearts by suggesting that Taylor Armstrong quit drinking on camera. [Radar]

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Let me be clear, I dislike Rihanna. I think she is stupid. But if I was in her position, I would have sex with tons of guys and not give a fuck. I would make all of them wear protection, but I would sample what the world has to offer. Most male musicians do this as well, so Drake and Chris can fuck off.

I've always been annoyed at commenters defending Jessica here. I don't think the media should make fun of her for her weight, but she is getting so much money from WW to lose it after the birth because it's so abhorrent she still be large. She is a part of the same media that made fun of her...