Teasers from One Direction's video for "Steal My Girl" (the song that caused one YouTube commenter to write "OMGGGGGGG IM DIED") have been popping up for weeks now — and from the oddest sources, too. Today, to the thrill of Directioners everywhere, the video was finally released in its entirety. Let me tell you, it is something.

The video begins with the moppets of One Direction exiting an airstream trailer onto an empty film set in the middle of the desert.

Soon after, Danny DeVito — playing an eccentric, auteur director — arrives in a convertible along with a lady who is carrying the tiniest umbrella known to man or Borrower.

"We're about to make the sickest fucking video that any of you have ever experienced in your puny, miserable Simon Cowell-run lives," says Danny DeVito (basically) and shit goes crazy from there.


...is smashed.

Friendships are made.

And what's a modern day pop video with out a li'l cultural appropriation?

Here's where I should add that, one hour after the video's release, I received an urgent Gchat from Jezebel alumna Dodai Stewart. "I was just watching the One D video and alarmed by harry's hair," she she said, possibly in a panic.

That hair:

Do we know what's going on here? Can we know what's going on here? Does Harry Styles maybe want to hang out with me sometime? "Steal My Girl" has presented a lot of questions and very few answers.