Neo-Nazi Stage Mom Fashions Self As White Power Matchmaker

Are you a pure-blooded Aryan looking for love? Are you batshit crazy? April Gaede, stage-mom of three-car-pileup-fascinating Neo-Nazi pop nymphets Prussian Blue, may be able to help! Gaede, having spawned white power royalty, is now breaking into matchmaking.

Says April, “I have racial contacts throughout the US as well as the world…I am planning to create a more secure and successful way for WNs (white nationals) to meet by creating a screening process, starting with a questionnaire.” We were alerted to Gaede’s career change by the Southern Poverty Law Center’s HateWatch blog, which monitors white power sites like Stormfront. We can’t pretend to be habitues ourselves, (although I was intrigued by the section “For Stormfront Ladies Only: Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice” ) and so would otherwise have missed this revolution in racially-pure online dating.

Perhaps you remember April from British doc Nazi Pop Twins, in which we saw her encouraging the creepy attentions of incarcerated geriatric white power terrorist David Lane (imprisoned for his role in the murder of a Jewish radio host) and instructing her three-year-old, Dresden, “A is for Aryan … a noble white person…B is for blood, can you say blood?” So we can only imagine how effective she’ll be at playing racially-pure cupid for those people for whom the “23 compatibility points” just don’t address the really important issues of ethnic history and opposition to miscegenation. Tragically, the “questionnaire” isn’t online, but we imagine it’ll involve things like,

“Are you of pure Aryan stock and fully committed to the production of ethnically superior offspring in a pure ethnostate?”

“Are You faithful to the precepts of Wotanism?”

“Can you recite the 14 Words, and the 88 Precepts of Natural Law?”

“Do you enjoy long walks on white-sand beaches?”

“Are you prepared to move at a moment’s notice when the neighbors find out about your views?”

“Do you enjoy the message-appropriate musical stylings of Tribute to Bunker 84, United Blood and the White Devils?’

“Are you open to dating and marrying romantic partners currently serving life sentences for hate crimes against minority groups?”

…if so, April Gaede is uniquely placed to help you, Brother and Sister Lonelyheart!