Nancy Grace Freaks Out on Pot Advocate: 'Obviously You're Stoned'

Telegenic white women don’t disappear mysteriously or get indicted for gruesome murders every day, and Nancy Grace needs something to talk about when she can’t scrape up a Casey Anthony. It seems she’s decided to wage war on that devil weed mary jane, which is ironic, because no one needs pot more than Nancy Grace.

Mediate reports that last night, once again, Nancy Grace had a conniption fit over marijuana, stringing together isolated incidents to suggest that pot is Satan’s work and should never, ever be legalized, because America will turn into a giant, chaotic, sordid opium den. (She is maybe confused about how different classes of drugs work?) This involved yelling MARIJUANA COOKIE several times, almost like you’d chant BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE. And if you don’t agree with her, well, you are maybe smoking that the funky weed yourself. (I imagine that’s what she’d call it.)

First she faced off with NORML’s Norm Kent: “Are you saying the 911 call is not real????” “No, I’m saying your argument is not real.” Priceless. And then she went back and forth with Dr. Drew for several minutes, and for once Dr. Drew came off like he was perhaps from the same planet as the rest of us, pointing out that maybe the offender in the specific case she’s flipping about was actually going through opiate withdrawals. Watching Nancy Grace is so much like sitting through a middle school health class taught by a yelling gym teacher that I’m downright nostalgic. I can’t decide whether she (forgive me, Beyonce) woke up like this or she’s deliberately performing hysteria for her very elderly, very bored audience.

Honestly, I hope Nancy Grace’s war on marijuana never ends. Or at least not until she and 2 Chainz fall deeply in love.