Let's suppose you're unlucky enough to have be married to a chap called Geoffrey Brookes, and one day he decides you're being unfaithful and decides to do something about it. So he pulls out an eight-inch carving knife, tries to slice your nose off, slashes you from cheek to cheek, breaks your ribs and stabs your liver.

Bad day, huh?

Then you turn up in court to see the bastard well and truly nailed, and he gets a whopping great huge jail sentence of..............

Five years.

Yup. Five fucking years for trying to kill someone, but ending up just scarring them for life instead. So that's just a wee bit of 'wounding', then is it? Naughty boy.

We're as liberal as the next 30-something unattractive salad-eating cat-owning loser, but we can't help wanting cut his penis off, or something. Is that bad?

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[ He' not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy! ]