Modern Family Will Pay For Your City Hall Wedding Today

If the last thing standing between you and wedded bliss is the high cost of a marriage license ($35), Modern Family has a publicity stunt that’s got you covered. For today and today only, the show and its home network of ABC will foot the bill for couples who get married in New York City’s city hall.

The sudden largesse is a stunt to promote the airing of the two-part Modern Family episode when Cam and Mitchell get married. Like all TV weddings, people will nervously glance at each other during the part when the officiant says “Speak now, or forever hold your peace,” which is not a thing that anyone does in any real weddings because TV is crazy.

So, folks who were planning on getting married anyway, you might as well just pick up your marriage license today and use the money you saved to take yourself out for some Chipotle. And if you’re one of those compulsive fools in love who thinks it would be a great barrel of monkeys to run giggling to the court house for a free marriage license, a dour warning: divorce is a pain in the ass. Make sure you’re sure of what you’re getting into.