Miss Universe: Feminism Is Dead, According To Miss Venezuela

On last night's Miss Universe live broadcast, Miss Venezuela was asked what women can do to overcome sexism in the workplace. She answered that women need to realize that "there are no longer any barriers against us." And she won!

It's not like I'm looking toward the Miss Universe pageant for any kind of feminist rally cry, especially when the swimwear competition was introduced like this: "We're about to see all of the contestants in teeny tiny bikinis so they can show off their physical fitness for you and our judges." But, you know, come on.

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Illustration for article titled iMiss Universe/i: Feminism Is Dead, According To Miss Venezuela

Overall, the broadcast was stale but not a train wreck enough to push it past boring…much like Heidi Montag's dancing.

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In the beginning of the show, the contestants were introduced wearing a costume representative of each of their respective countries. I guess this would be on par with what the child pageant circuit would consider "Wow Wear." And of course, compared to all the feathers and sequins and architecture (Miss Germany had columns attached to her back) Miss USA was underwhelming.

Illustration for article titled iMiss Universe/i: Feminism Is Dead, According To Miss Venezuela

Although, I really liked that Miss Ireland's outfit was so half-assed that it looked like a drunk person designed it.

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Illustration for article titled iMiss Universe/i: Feminism Is Dead, According To Miss Venezuela

I liked Miss Nigeria's moves.

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But Miss China was the absolute best.

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I love that she won Miss Congeniality.

Illustration for article titled iMiss Universe/i: Feminism Is Dead, According To Miss Venezuela
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But surprisingly, the best part of the whole show was discovering that Kelly Rowland somehow turned into Patti LaBelle.

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DISCUSSION

morninggloria
Erin Gloria Ryan

They really know how to treat the ladies in Latin America. Just walk down a street, and hear the very vocal appreciation for your femininity, conveyed with woo-ing and hissing and very lewd slang.

Good call, Miss Venezuela. We really have arrived.