Are you a white woman struggling to make it in a society that refuses to accept as equal Caucasian standards of beauty? Do you feel oppressed when you try to compete in anachronistic celebrations of conventional American beauty standards, because try as you might, you can never be BLACK enough??? Well meet your new muse, Kate "K Street Kate" Michael. She represented Washington, D.C. in this year's Miss America pageant, and her big dream, according to her blog, was to represent the capital of the free world in the Miss USA pageant — you know, the one Donald Trump owns where there's no talent competition — as well. But last Saturday night's contest was a bummer. Ever the spinmeister, she wrote on a friend's Facebook page:
"I got 2nd runner up, which is incredible, since they were never going to pick a girl as 'pale' as me anyway."
Oh, but you look so healthy and bronze, Kate! (Um, is that PC to say?)
Anyway, the liberal media minds at the Washington Post got hold of this quote and tried to make something racial out of it. K Street Kate brushed if off, saying it "had to do with tanning and swimsuit: I've never won the swimsuit preliminary, but that's always been my goal."
Oh, HAH, said Washington Post scribe Amy Argetsinger, who wrote us:
I have to commend Kate Michael for being so quick on her feet with an excuse about what she meant about being too "pale" for Miss D.C. She probably does very well in the interview portion.
But we couldn't help but want to research the issue a little further. And we found that Kate has, guess what, opaquely referenced her oppressed-minority status last time she won!
Michael says the win was thrilling. She says it surprised her, considering all the talk she heard about the importance of diversity in the district."Because D.C. has a more diverse population, people hoped for a more diverse winner, but when you look at diversity, it is a diversity of experience, a diversity of thought," she says. "I thought they might choose an African-American Miss D.C."
I wonder why she thought that! Because the city is more than 80% black, so it's just, you know, probability? Nah, it's surely the fucked-up new "diverse" precedents set by Tyra and her ilk. Oh well, perhaps she'll need all this "diversity" training for her planned career in international relations, which she is studying — we got too carried away to mention this — at Johns Hopkins University's graduate program. Seriously! Did she get affirmative action for total idiots? Or did she just bone one of the deans. We're thinking the latter, and trying to get Julia Allison on the line for comment.