Millennials Suck at Homemaking

Illustration for article titled Millennials Suck at Homemaking

The New York Observer profiled some writers and entrepreneurs who are taking advantage of the fact that hipsters and domesticity kind of go together like a white couch and red wine. There's The Hairpin's Jolie Kerr, who writes the site's very successful "Ask a Clean Person" column detailing basic cleaning steps from making your bed to removing personal fluids from upholstery:

"Ask a Clean Person," for instance, takes as its thesis that its reader will know literally nothing about cleaning. Ms. Kerr passes along the knowledge our mothers might have imparted in decades prior: "Hey ladies, do you polish your shoes?" read a column last year. "No? You should!" While Ms. Kerr studiously avoids making fun of those who write in for advice, one question does shock her: "People who don't understand how to use a sponge … You wonder-has someone else been washing your dishes your whole life?"

Then there's Brit Morin, who runs Hello Brit, a housemaking site you'll enjoy if you'd rather convert used laptop chargers into jump ropes than, say, mop floors (and then Instagram the results, natch):

Ms. Kerr sees it as an "outgrowth of the economy tanking," she said. "All of a sudden, people couldn't afford to be eating out as much so they started cooking at home. And all of a sudden they're in their home and noticing messes."

Ms. Morin's PB&J sushi rolls are perhaps especially appetizing to a young apartment dweller who can't eat out every night, doesn't know how to sauté and won't learn, and, having clicked through Pinterest all day, finds a regular old sandwich disconcertingly plain.

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Move over, Martha Stewart; we have no time for you and your centerpieces.

Meet the Mini-Marthas! Suddenly, Hipster Homemakers Are Cleaning Up [NY Observer]

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DISCUSSION

julieannie
julieannie

My secrets to looking like an excellent housecleaner, especially re: surprise guests

1) Buy a tiny house and eliminate all clutter. Congratulations, you already look cleaner than the people on Hoarders.

2) Hide everything. Buy furniture with drawers and doors. Decide which rooms people visiting your home will see. If you follow rule #1 like I do, there's only 4 rooms viewable- the living room, the dining room, the kitchen, and the bathroom. Shove everything else in the back rooms. Pull a Monica and have a closet of doom where you hide everything messy.

3) Shiny=clean to most people. Sure you could sanitize your hardwoods with a steam mop but they look cleaner when you swiffer them with a windex/water mix. Make everything look shiny and people will think you spent all day on it.

4) Have I mentioned my hide everything policy enough? Stains on couches- lots of funky throw pillows! Lots of dirty dishes- hide them in the dishwasher/oven if you get a warning. Just make sure to check your oven before preheating.

5) Always know where your bra is. This might not sound like a housekeeping tip but I always take off my bra when I get home. I like to throw it back on if guests come over and also not have it sitting on the toilet/coat rack/welcome mat.