- Hillary Clinton (and Joe Biden) wants President Obama to talk tough on Iran, sympathetic on the opposition. The Secretary of State is also currently recuperating from a fractured elbow, which will require surgery in a few weeks. [Plum Line, CNN]
- Thing is, the Administration is struggling to balance calls to support the Iranian protesters with keeping open an avenue for engagement on nuclear issues with the Ayatollah. [Washington Post]
- The Guardian Council, which backed Mahmoud Ahmadenijad, has offered to meet with Mir Hossein Mousavi and the other, failed Presidential candidates. [NY Times]
- In the meantime, Iranian security forces are rounding up everyone who knows or supports Mousavi and tossing them in jail. [London Times]
- Iran's Interior Ministry has ordered an investigation into the Basji militia's and military's attack on Tehran University that left students dead and injured. [Wall Street Journal]
- Increasingly jealous of all the attention Iran is getting, Kim Jong Il has threatened to launch a missile towards Hawai'i. (Because attacking the Pacific archipelago worked out so well for the Japanese in the 40s!) [CBS News]
- Senator John "Fuckmaster Flex" Ensign has resigned from his Senate leadership position, because you can't have sex with a woman and be a leader in the GOP. Just ask Mitch McConnell! [Associated Press]
- Michelle Bachmann is refusing to participate in the United States Census because she's afraid it will steal her soul. [ThinkProgress]
- Former President George W. Bush has emerged from his gated Texas community, saying that he believes the best way to fix the poor economy is for Americans to spend more money. [Washington Times]
Please go back into your hole; we don't care how many days of the recession are left. Also, since you put us there, your advice is kind of shit.
The American People.