Midweek Madness: Slut Machine Takes On Heather Mills

Every Wednesday, we ask One D At A Time's resident sex-and-relationship expert, "Slut Machine", to, well, plow through the newly-arrived celebrity weeklies and help us make some sense out of Hollywood. (And ourselves). First up this week: Heather Mills.

Illustration for article titled Midweek Madness: Slut Machine Takes On Heather Mills
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People love an underdog, and you can't get more bottom-bitch than Heather Mills, the one-legged breakout star of Dancing with the Stars. Mills (aka the
soon-to-be ex-Mrs. McCartney), previously perceived as a gold-digging see you next Tuesday, is
currently winning over the American public, one back-flip at a time. Heather even broke down in tears on Ryan Seacrest's radio show this week after a listener called in and admitted that she was really fond of Mills after watching the DWTS, and apologized for earlier, harsh judgments she had made regarding Heather's dissolving (and very, very lucrative) marriage to Sir Paul.

Perhaps it should be noted that in the opening credits for DWTS, each celeb contestant is introduced with an explanation of what s/he is known for (e.g. Joey Fatone: "NSync Star," Leeza Gibbons: "Talk Show Host"). Mills is described as a "Charity Activist and Campaigner," which essentially translates to: "Getting Money Out of Rich People." Isn't that why everyone hated her to begin with? It looks like being spun around by a gay dance partner is the best spin her career has experienced since she took up with the former Beatle.

Since two of today's celebrity weeklies included polls on the tideshift in Heather hate, it's safe to say that most people are more familiar with her approval rating than that of our Commander-in-Chief. But he sucks anyway, right?

In Star, we're asked:
Heather: Love her or hate her?
47% love her; 53% hate her

US wanted to know:
Do you like Heather more now?
43% said yes

So what have we learned from this? People like cripples so much more when they dance.

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