Michelle Obama Seen Wearing Shorts —Newsreel at 10

ZOMG! Michelle Obama has worn shorts in public. How will the other nations respect us now that they've seen our First Lady's knees?!!?

I hate writing about idiotic non-issues that are taking up valuable news time. Seriously?

Let's look at the facts:

• The first lady was on vacation
• hiking the Grand Canyon
• in 106 degree heat
• coming back to 95 degree DC swap heat
• and stepping off a plane

But, no - apparently, this is a major issue.

Click to view

So now I'm writing open letters.

Dear Huffington Post:

I hope you meant this as a joke.

Don't encourage this.

-Latoya

Dear Today Show:

Five minutes? Really? And you found two people willing to wake up and go on your show to talk about Michelle's shorts? At least your host expressed a "WTF?" on the air.

-Latoya

Dear Robin Givhan:

Yes, press photos are important. But no one ever made as big of a deal of Dubya bending over all the time while clearing brush. A candid is a candid, let's move on. It's not like she showed up in shorts to a state dinner.

-Latoya

Dear Americans who actually voted in these polls/tuned into specifically watch shorts commentary:

You better not be the same mofos forwarding around emails about Muslim invasions forcing everyone to cover up and wear burkinis. Check yourself: You are asking if it is appropriate for a woman to wear shorts. She's a grown ass woman! She covered her arms, what more do you want? I am sick of this madness. Don't let me see you in the street, because I'm smacking people on principle.

-Latoya

Dear Universe,

For the fuck of shit.

-Latoya

Dear Jesus,

Why are you punishing me? I want to concentrate on Sin Nombre, border crossing, if we're thinking about health care reform the wrong way, manga fashion, and vegan soul cooking. Why is this a news item? I know you're shrugging at me, but still - can you please put this on the official record? I tried, Jesus, I tried to talk about interesting things but I was smited by the news industrial complex and their insatiable need to scrutinize every part of Michelle Obama until she snaps and ends up on Lifetime.

-Latoya

Michelle Obama's Shorts: Does The First Lady Have The Right To Bare Legs? (PHOTOS, POLL) [Huffington Post]
First Lady's Fashions Pushing the Envelope? [Today Show/MSNBC]