Michele Bachmann Told She Can No Longer Sit at Cool Republicans' Lunch Table

Illustration for article titled Michele Bachmann Told She Can No Longer Sit at Cool Republicans Lunch Table

Michele Bachmann and America have had some pretty sexy times together. Remember when Michele Bachmann was running for President and she won the Iowa Straw Poll and everyone freaked out for a haysecond before they realized that she's about 8 players short of a baseball lineup, brain-wise? Remember how she gave that response to the President's State of the Union address where she spent the entire duration of the talk locking eyes with an unseen person somewhere off to the side of the camera? Remember how she's turned the Tea Party Express into the Crazy Train? Well, after putting up with her jaw-droppingly nutty antics for several years, it seems this week's "America Is Being Secretly Run by the Muslim Brotherhood" stunt has finally convinced some powerful Republicans that now may be the time to kick Michele out of Capitol Hill cool kids' group.


Bachmann's run as Lady McCarthy began when she accused Hillary Clinton's Chief of Staff Huma Abedin of being secretly affiliated with the Muslim Brotherhood, a group that is scary inasmuch as it contains the words "Muslim" and "hood," two things God fearing Midwestern beards like Bachmann know are code for "scary brown people" and "very scary brown people." Bachmann and four other Republican legislators — Trent Franks of Arizona, Louie Gohmert, Thomas Rooney, and Lynn Westmoreland — signed a letter to the State Department that voiced concern about the Pakistani-American Abedin's family's ties to the Brotherhood and urged an investigation into her past.

Oh, no you didn't, Michele. Too far.

Yesterday, John McCain, who, since his 2008 electoral defeat speaks publicly with the poise of a large dog who is aware that he's been forced to wear a hot dog costume and is terribly embarrassed about it, told her to knock it off on the Senate floor. And today, House Speaker John Boehner called the accusations "pretty dangerous" and referred to Abedin as a "sterling character." Possible Veepstakes winner and Florida Tea Party darling Marco Rubio said that he's not really high on Bachmann right now, and Scott Brown has Tweeted his discontent as well. So far, no one's kicked her out of anything, although at a press conference this morning, a reporter asked Boehner if she'd be removed from her post on the Intelligence Committee and I laughed and laughed because OH MY GOD Michelle Bachmann is on the Intelligence Committee. That's like hiring Chris Brown to be your midwife.


Bachmann, for her part, is defiant, like any good cartoon villain.

If she doesn't watch herself, soon she'll be eating lunch in the Congressional ladies' room with her tray balanced on her knees while the Bad Girls smoke in the stall next to her.

[US News]

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Really?!?! If Huma Abedin had any real ties or even a vague familial affiliation to ANYTHING even remotely terrorist associated, there is no way in hell she could have received the top level security clearance she clearly has as the Secretary of State's chief of staff. Anyone serving in any government job knows that. This is just further proof that Michelle Bachmann has lost her god damned mind and needs to be removed from office. Those are SERIOUS allegations that could cost Abedin her livelihood and possible charges of treason, which can still be punished with the death penalty. I can see it now: "I saw Goody Abedin with Osama!" Fuck this.