Michele Bachmann Finally Shows Up For Work After Missing 88 Consecutive Votes

Illustration for article titled Michele Bachmann Finally Shows Up For Work After Missing 88 Consecutive Votes

Michele Bachmann, that fibbing bank-loving Presidential candidate from the great state of Minnesota, has finally broken an admirable streak by showing up to vote after failing to do so 88 consecutive times.

The last she graced the halls of Congress with her appearance was on August 1, where she voted against raising the debt ceiling. Today, she voted on a gruelling six bills. Someone get the lady some Muscle Milk!

ABC News reports that she voted in favor of a free trade agreement with Columbia, South Korea, and Panama, which means America's about to experience an influx of yayo, fans that automatically shut off after being left on for very long, and John McCain bobbleheads. After casting her vote, she released a statement,

The free trade agreements with Colombia, Panama and South Korea, negotiated more than four years ago, received a long-awaited stamp of approval today by Congress. These agreements will create hundreds of thousands of American jobs and spur economic growth across a wide span of industries, without cost to taxpayers. My long-standing support of the free trade agreements was reinforced when I met with Colombian President Juan Manuel Santos in Colombia in February, and again when I discussed trade in my office with South Korean Ambassador Han Duk-soo in June. Both the countries of Colombia and South Korea are eager for the implementation of these free trade agreements.


Good thing she was there to lend a hand.

But it would be unfair to expect Bachmann to show up for all those votes when she's got a Presidential campaign to run, you might say. We're picking on her because we're mean to ladies because the job of a lady is to always support all other ladies!

Well, you'd be wrong. While Presidential candidates often miss votes , they don't often miss them in as long as streak as Bachmann or play hooky with as much insistence. Since declaring her run for office in June, she's only showed up to vote a little more than half time. The only three members of the House who have participated in fewer votes during that time period are Gabrielle Giffords, who is recovering from a gunshot wound to the head, Maurice Hinchey, who is recovering from cancer treatments, and John Boehner, who is the House Speaker and therefore traditionally doesn't vote. Cranky old coot Ron Paul has only shown up to vote 84% of the time since declaring his candidacy, but he's not running for reelection for his seat and thus his absenteeism wouldn't be an issue for voters.

Meanwhile, Bachmann's parading around like she's been working her fingers to the bone from all the voting that she's been doing. She's got vote-calluses on every single finger! Is nothing enough for you people? As per usual with Bachmann, reality paints a different picture. At an event in New Hampshire earlier this week, she declared,

You didn't see me a lot here in New Hampshire and I'll tell you why: It's because my first duty was to go back to Washington, D.C.


The last time she spent any time in the Capitol doing any sort of work whatsoever was in September, when Bachmann returned to listen to the President address a joint session of Congress. While she was there, she didn't vote.

Bachmann Breaks Streak of 88 Consecutive Missed Votes [ABC News]

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Chris Braak

What kinds of jobs is a free trade agreement with Panama going to create?

This is a serious question, I recognize that it might be possible. Did they have some kind of tariff schedule that was preventing us from exporting American-made goods to them, or something? And if we have a free trade agreement, wouldn't it be easier to make whatever we're making here in Panama instead, since the labor would be cheaper and we could easily export it *back* to the American market?