Michael Lohan just called Perez Hilton's iPhone. IT'S AN EXCLUSIVE!!!!! Michael is a Christian now, which means he is, unlike Mother Theresa, full of forgiveness and empathy and would never cast stones as if he himself were without sin but anyway Dina's a cokehead who dates a rapist and has drunkenly crashed like eleven cars but for some reason there's no police report probably because she pimps out Lindsay's little sister to suck off cops in exchange for amnesty. We're so excited — and SCANDALIZED — we're re-running our poll as to who's the worse person, Dina or Michael "WWJD" Lohan. Those persistent existential dilemmas just don't get any easier, do they? [Perez Hilton]