Memo to consumers: Most mascara ads are not "realistic." Hot on the heels of the brouhaha over poor Penelope Cruz and her unbelievably long L'Oreal lashes comes criticism of cosmetics company Rimmel, whose print and TV spots — starring Kate Moss — have been banned over claims of falsie (get it?) advertising. Rimmel claims that Moss wasn't wearing falsies during the photo shoot but that her eyes may have been enhanced via computer afterwards. [Daily Mail]

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DISCUSSION

sfikus-old
sfikus

@bifteck: Alright ladies, pay attention.

A) buy the brush, not the formula. A brush will lay down a finer, more even coat than a comb or one of those retarded rubber centipedes that are all the rage right now. B) avoid the sooper dooper thickening formulas - nothing the quality of toothpaste or baby poo will give you anything other than 3 giant tarantula lashes that flake and flake and flake. Mascara formulas contain fiber to strengthen and lengthen, but those fibers gotta go somewhere, and it's usually all over your face. C) Always apply in at least 2 coats - 3 for evening.

You're half right about the toothbrushy wiggle - most women attack their lashes, which generally ignores the roots and goops up the ends, and still looks like you're not wearing enough mascara, 'cuz you've got all these naked roots.

Before you even approach your eyeball, that hershey's kiss of goo at the end of the wand when it comes out of the tube does not get wasted on the roll of tp sitting on the counter or smeared onto the mouth of the tube - ladies you know of what I speak. Eye infections, seriously. Fold a kleenex and roll the wand (and the hershey's kiss) gently on it to evenly distribute the mascara. This fends off lumps and clumps.

The First Coat should be applied ONLY TO THE BASE of the lashes, gently back and forth in the above referenced toothbrushy motion. Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle. Granted, it's easier to do to someone else than yourself, but funny facial contortions in the mirror all what it's all about, right? If you're somewhat sensitive about jamming a wand into the darkest reaches of your eyeball, try GENTLY lifting the upper lid with your other hand, and GENTLY approaching and jiggling. This can de-sensitize the winking/blinking response.

The Second Coat can then be applied from roots to tips. You're doubling the coat at the roots, supporting the single coat at the tips. Apply all over, and then concentrate on the outer lashes - this opens and lifts the eye. Instant facelift.

The Third Coat - for evening, or for drag races - is applied ONLY at the outer half of the eye. See step 2...

Lower lashes shouldn't be ignored, but should still have a daintier coat than the upper. Take a fresh kleenex folded into fourths and sneak it up underneath the lower lashes. This also serves to de-sensitize any winking/blinking, mops up the excess, and guarantees an even coat.

So ladies, the perfect, near falsie version of eyelashes are actually a culmination of 3 things - the brush (all mascara packaging comes with a rendering of the brush on the packaging. look for the brushiest), the formula (not too thick, not too thin, just right), and the technique (gently and precisely targeted).

My job here is done.