Meet 'US Weekly''s Ken Baker. He'll Promote His Hot Nanny Instead Of You, Then Send The FBI To Your House

Illustration for article titled Meet US Weeklys Ken Baker. Hell Promote His Hot Nanny Instead Of You, Then Send The FBI To Your House

The jackass with Paris is Ken Baker, America's worst boss. We always thought there was something a little spooky about how mild and intelligent and reasonable Us Weekly editor in chief Janice Min came across in public, and now we know why: she has a horrible secret and it is not that she had reporters dig through Ben Affleck's trash, used scanners to intercept Britney Spears' bodyguards' communications or planted a reporter full-time at Cedars-Sinai (the hospital with the lock on the celebuspawn market). It's that she hired this guy to oversee all of this investigative journalism, and...Well. How to put... Baker was one of those bosses who thinks it is a good idea to involve the entire office in his speculation as to whether an employee's tits are real, encourages his underlings to sleep with paparazzi, hires the nanny he wants to see "pregnant in pigtails" as a reporter, and then, when suddenly someone catches wind and decides to do a story about it, snots all over your office:

On or about July 2005 BAKER entered JILL ISHKANIAN's office, closed the door and began to cry. During this conversation BAKER used up all of JILL ISHKANIAN's Kleenex to wipe his eyes and runny nose.


During the raid, twelve F.B.I. agents in flak jackets entered JILL ISHKANIAN's home with their guns drawn and held their guns to JILL ISHKANIAN's head and to the head of JILL ISHKANIAN's boyfriend. 118. JILL ISHKANIAN and her boyfriend were placed into handcuffs, removed from their home and placed into a police vehicle. They were never arrested nor taken to any other location during the more than two hour raid.


Yeah, seriously, it's hard to explain how it came to this, though it basically comes down to: US set up the reporter so it looked like she was stealing celebrity secrets from US, which she probably wasn't, but she sure had some good non-celebrity secrets.

A Very Long Lawsuit [Jossip]

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Perhaps the [] description of Ken Baker's autobiography will be illuminating:

"Baker had a tumor in his brain that flooded his body with the female hormone prolactin; he leaked milk from his nipples and could hardly ever have an erection... 'I was able to journey to a biological place few men will ever know.... My manhood today is stronger because of it.'"