Meet the Web's Weirdest Authority on American Women, Asian Men, and UFOs

Illustration for article titled Meet the Web's Weirdest Authority on American Women, Asian Men, and UFOs

Winston Wu raised his online profile recently by warning men (at great length) about the evils of marriage. But he's long been something of a presence, running a dating site where American men can meet foreign women, and opining about everything from the paranormal to what constitutes a "typical" Asian man. Let's take a closer look at this unusual internet personality.


On YourTango, Wu asks men, "Remember that fantasy you've always had about being in a foreign exotic country and having a beautiful woman smile at you and wink?" This fantasy appears to be Wu's main stock in trade. In another YourTango post, Wu advances (also at great length) a fascinatingly backwards view of the effect of American media on men:

[M]en just want a decent feminine woman with good character and values that will be good to them. They don't need a super model or a high status woman. They couldn't care less about the standards of the fashion or advertising industry. But on the other hand, women generally DO CARE, unfortunately, because they are more conformist in nature and try to live up to the trends and standards of their culture. Thus, since the Western media presents overly high standards for men that few or no men can meet, women's expectations and standards for their "ideal man" have shot up through the roof, while men's standards for women remain relatively unaffected.

The solution to this "epidemic of millions of lonely men in America without choices or options" is "GLOBAL DATING": "in the rest of the 200+ countries of the world, there are countless millions of single available women who are kind, caring, feminine, sincere, sweet, humble with good values, etc. who are just looking for a good man, and will be a good mate or companion to the millions of lonely men in America." Wu's site, Happier Abroad, offers tours, personal ads, and numerous long-winded articles, all of which purport to help single American men experience the transformation Wu says he went through when he discovered international dating and "my dating life skyrocketed from zero to infinity."

Wu's ideas about the American dating scene are nothing new — plenty of misogynists have already advanced the theory that American women are entitled shrews and foreign women are beautiful ultra-feminine helpmeets who want nothing more than to cater to a man's every need. But this is far from Wu's only idea. He also has some theories on race. On a page titled "10 Uncommon and Outstanding Things about Winston Wu," he writes,

Most people who think outside the box tend to be White Males, not Asian. So in that sense, Wu is a true rarity. He has a truly independent mind that resists brainwashing, indoctrination and mind control, allowing him to think outside the box. He thinks on his own and sees things for what they are, not in accordance with what he is programmed to. Possessing a highly critical mind, he is a master at debunking lies and propaganda, and at exposing contradictions. And being more open minded and objective than most, he also sees a broader picture. All this is evidenced by his writings and the material on his websites (mentioned below) as well as the praises and reviews they've received. He also lives "outside the box" too, as evidenced by his websites. [...] Also, even as an Asian himself, Wu openly admits that most Asians in general (not including himself of course) are narrow, conformist, incapable of thinking independently and purely practical.

Asians (except himself) aren't the only large group of people Wu derides — he also hates Russians. And he's come out against "closed-minded skeptics," mounting an extended argument in favor of the existence of UFOs, ghosts, and near death experiences — in said argument, he introduces himself as "a researcher and explorer of the paranormal, psychic phenomena, metaphysics, quantum physics, consciousness research, realms of higher consciousness, and religion/philosophy." Some of Wu's writings appear unhinged, and he has written that he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and OCD as a child (he says he ultimately recovered through New Age spirituality and treatment in Taiwan). However, some of his frustrations speak to bigger issues. In a post called "10 Reasons why I'm forced to look for love beyond America," he writes,

Among males in the US, Asian men are considered the least desirable race in this country in terms of attraction to American women. They are the equivalent to Black females, who are also considered the least desirable in America in the female racial hierarchy. American females' racial preferences are in this order 1-Whites, 2-Hispanics, 3-Blacks, 4-Asians/East Indians. For those who beg to differ, this order of preference is very evident even in personal ads. For example, if you browse through thousands of American women's personal ads on (something which I have done), you will find that most of them prefer to meet only white Caucasian men. Less than half are open to interracial relationships/dating. And among those that do, they prefer Hispanics and Blacks. Very few are open to Asians or list "Any" under racial preference. Any cursory glance of female personal ads in America will reveal this. There simply is no debate. Even Hollywood movies depict this. In fact, there is an unwritten rule in Hollywood that the Asian star never gets the girl, only white stars do.


Wu's dealing in generalizations here, but he's also right that Asian men are often stigmatized in the US. The infamous OkCupid study on message response rates by race found that women of all races were more likely to respond to messages from white dudes than Asian ones. And in his New York cover story about "Asian-American overachievers" and the shit they get from a white-dominated culture, Wesley Yang wrote about a pickup artist who challenged "the Asian-American disadvantage in the sexual marketplace" by teaching Asian men to pick up white women:

This is what he prefers, what he stands for, and what he is selling: the courage to pursue anyone you want, and the skills to make the person you desire desire you back. White guys do what they want; he is going to do the same.


Of course, suffering racism isn't an excuse for being a misogynist dick. But in Wu's case, it might be part of the explanation. Last week, Hugo Schwyzer told me that most men who become men's rights activists "come from a place of huge disappointment," of "deep hurt." Wu, with his ideas about American women ruined by feminism and a man's entitlement to a girlfriend ("The average man can't just go out and 'get' a girl he likes anytime for a romantic date, sex, or even simple companionship. Instead, he has to wait years for a girl to 'magically' fall in love with him and give him what he wants from the opposite sex.), has a lot in common with MRAs.


So do his fans. Says one reader in one of Happier Abroad's forums,

English is the language of the feminists. So your best bet for a wife is to find one who speaks minimal English. English speaking women means that she most likely has gotten feminist — liberal brainwashing at university, that she consumes trashy American TV and movies (which are inherently feminist), and that she might even be watching Oprah (the anti man).


Another writes,

Discovering this site affirmed my experiences and really put things into perspective about a "bitch shield" that [American women] put up. They just give off a very cold "don't approach me or talk to me" vibe. When it's not that it's usually a dirty look whenever I get to work, walk into a store, gym, etc. This is just the man-hating culture that feminism has created. Men are seen as creepy, idiotic, psychopathic rapists that must be shunned at all costs.


Most of the posters on Happier Abroad's forums don't provide the kind of extensive autobiographical data Wu does, so it's hard to tell if they've faced the same obstacles he has. But many of them do tell stories of rejection by American women, and of the ultimate realization that, in the words of one poster, "it is the American Women who are difficient." What Wu has done is transform an early life of bullying, psychological trauma, and racial oppression into a community of embittered men who feel that they've been wronged by women. For him, this probably looks like success. For us, it's a peek into how the seeds of discontent grow into a giant, creepy misogyny tree.

International Dating - Solution to the Male Loneliness Epidemic [YourTango]
Happier Abroad [Official Site]



I have several thoughts on this article:

1. Asian men. It seems totally obvious that Asian men face a difficult time in the American dating scene. Wu is clearly irritated that American women of all races prefer non-Asian men (especially white), and he is irritated that white men are cashing in on their unearned privilege. I can understand this perspective. However, isn’t Wu attempting to create this same problem for men in foreign nations? If American men marry foreign women, isn’t he just dooming those foreign men to lifelong singledom, thus passing the problem off on them?

2. Expectations on men: I actually agree with Wu that American men are held to much higher standards than women. But I do disagree that this is mainly because of the media. I believe it to be that American women are just achieving more and more these days, and we are not giving up on our expectation to "marry up." Also, 21st century Americans in general feel entitled to the best. This includes spouses, particularly true for women choosing men. I know several men who I would be shocked if they ever got into a serious relationship. I would be quite surprised if I saw them on a date with a woman. I know far fewer women who I would feel the same way about. It would not surprise me if these men joined such a website, and I think it would be cruel for me to immediately call them misogynists.

3. Misogyny: Jezebel calls Wu and his business "misogynist." Ok, but would it be possible for such a business model to not be misogynist? Could Wu remove the misogyny and still say," Hey fellows, do you feel frustrated by the dating scene? You might want to consider women in foreign nations. You might have better luck. Why don’t you give it a try?" I actually think that it is possible to have this business model without being misogynist. And honestly, from what is presented in this article, I am unsure I can call Wu a misogynist. Some of the people who comment on his website, yes.

4. Entitlement: Jezebel accuses Wu of feeling that men are entitled to girlfriends. The article also says that "plenty of misogynists have advanced the theory that American women are entitled shrews." In fact, Jezebel writers and commenters frequently accuse American men in general of feeling entitled by having unrealistic expectations for women. I have already stated that I think that it is American women who have unrealistic expectations for men, so yeah, I guess I think that American women are entitled? Am I allowed to have that opinion? Am I a traitor to women and to feminists? Clearly, it is ok to call men entitled, but is it misogynistic to say the opposite? And for the record, Wu never states that men are entitled to girlfriends, Jezebel just speculates that.