Meet the Cat Who is Running for Senate

Tired of politics as usual? Looking for someone who will bring real change and maybe some dead mouse parts to Washington's bedroom threshold as a sort of fucked up gesture of allegiance? Well, then have we found the candidate for you. He's a cat, and he's running for Senate in Virginia.

Hank is a handsome 9-year-old long haired brown tabby with just as many qualifications for public office as most people who think they can be Senators. He's got a full head of hair, sits around a lot, and looks great in a tie.

According to his campaign website, Hank isn't running as a Democrat or a Republican, but rather a uniting friend to all Americans. The Senate candidate writes,

To make our homes and our future a better and brighter place, we don't need to start at the top - we need to start right here with ourselves. If you improve the living condition of a single home, it has a ripple effect throughout the street. Improve the street, it ripples to the neighborhood. Improve the neighborhood, it ripples to the county. Improve the county, it ripples through the state. Improve the state, it ripples to the entire nation. In each of us we have the power to improve our own lives, to improve the lives of our neighbors, our state, and our country.


Wow. Hank's a better writer than Virginia Delegate Dave Albo.

Hank hasn't published his stance on such divisive issues as abortion, entitlement programs, or economic policy, but he does promise "milk in every bowl" if elected. Comments that make you wonder if he's in with the Lactaid lobby, though, as most housecats are lactose intolerant.

Hank is running for US Senate in Virginia [AMNY]

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I hope he's nothing like Bad Kitty because Bad Kitty did not run a good campaign. He even claimed that his opponent was actually a dog.