Meet Drew, Proof You're Never Too Young To Be Completely Ridiculous

You know what we say about children: fuck them. Why in so good a mood today? This time they're coming for our jobs. Intern Maria just alerted us to a story in next month's Teen Vogue about 12-year-old socialite jewelry designer Drew McCann. Normally this would not alarm us, because despite being identified as an "entrepreneur" there are clues sprinkled throughout the writeup — a "helicopter like view of Manhattan's west side", a sister named "Avery"— that ever so subtly suggest young Drew might have some familial advantages. But so close on the heels of reports of a 14-year-old paparazzo Austin's Hollywood clubhopping and a tip re a fashion blogger "named" Yonctopus who is, at 12, already nostalgic for the halcyon days of Elle Girl, we'd have to call it a trend:

they're infiltrating every level of the celebrity sartorial complex. Soon they'll perfect "snark" and "binge drinking" and "emotional unavailability" and... oh god they probably already have. Can't they go back to playing with Bratz and giving blow jobs already?


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