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Meet Ashley Alexandra Dupre. She Fucked Eliot Spitzer. She Is The Future Of Music!

Illustration for article titled Meet Ashley Alexandra Dupre. She Fucked Eliot Spitzer. She Is The Future Of Music!
  • I know what I want, you know what I want, I know what you need, can you handle me? Thus begins the mellifluous "What We Want," the latest track posted on the MySpace page of Ashley Alexandra Dupre, the musician, abuse victim, former drug abuser and self-professed "non moron" who had sex with Eliot Spitzer under the name "Kristen" the night before Valentine's Day. Perhaps some blog will pay her $4,300 to perform it at their annual party in May? [NYT]
  • The Emperor's Club also offered graphic design and consulting services but I'm thinking they weren't that popular because I could probably design their website myself. [Slate]
  • Eliot Spitzer is a Gemini. Libras are famously attracted to Geminis so I guess I should consider it a bullet dodged. [<a href="

    2.html">Huffington Post]
  • Dina McGreevey is still pretty pissed. You would be, too, if your husband had told you he was gay by asking you to read a draft of a speech he was about to give. [NYT]
  • Geraldine Ferrarro abdicated her position on the Clinton campaign so she can continue speaking her mind about how easy black guys have it compared to white women. [<a href="

  • Syphilis rates are up for a seventh year in a row. Is Bubonic Plague next? [Reuters]
  • Two men, one 17 and one 21, were charged in the murder of that pretty UNC student. The motive appears to be robbery. Awesome. [NYT]
  • Just because the country's economic fundamentals are nowhere near as weak as they were back in the seventies doesn't mean the recession won't be as weak as the seventies because no one really remembers the seventies so the inflation and job prospects and such seem shitty enough to consumers and investors and all those bad vibes are enough to set off a ripple of liquidity problems that will send the whole thing spiraling wildly out of control because maybe the economic fundamentals were never that great to begin with and it was all a collective exercise in delusional fantasy. [Slate]
  • Bad news for Boeing, not that they need it. And for anyone trying to get anywhere in an airplane, not that they need it either. [WSJ]
  • The problem with America is not that our standards of living are so high technology companies don't want to hire us. (I mean, let's face it guys, the standards of living of most Americans are pretty fucking low, considering the aggregate size of this economy.) No, the problem with America is that everyone is stupid. Bill Gates, paraphrased. [Breitbart]
  • Maybe it will help that people don't have as much money to waste at the mall. [IHT]
  • Rush Limbaugh's evil plot to win Texas and Ohio for HIllary was actually an illegal evil plot, not that there's really a huge difference. [Wired]
  • Once you get past the whole "the anorexics are going to love this shit" aspect of them pickle juice popsicles actually sound like a good idea. [Wash Post]

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A Small Turnip

It seems desperately sad to be passing judgement on this girl's looks. And I say that with a shiver of personal shame, because the first thing that crossed my mind when I looked at the photos of her is, "Oh, she's pretty. Nice rack."

And it's kind of gross, isn't it? That basically all this girl has got going for her is her physical appearance? Her body is the only thing about her that is valuable to the world, and I, a stranger, just confirmed that by clicking on those links above to get a good ol' look at her. What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with all of us?

I know some of you have mentioned that you don't feel sorry for her because she knew what she was getting into, but I feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for her whether or not she feels sorry for herself. She's 22. She's a kid. The first line of her obituary is already written, and that just sucks.

I want someone who loves her to help her get through this mess. When we've all had our fill of her, and the next scandal-of-the-week had come and gone, I hope she has someone to tell her that she's going to be okay. I hope she has someone to tell her that the future doesn't have to be like the past, and there are people in the world who don't want to use her up and throw her out. I hope there are good things out there for her, one day.

Man, I hope for that for all of us. There but for the grace of god...