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Maybe It's Just Us, But Michelle Obama Seems Pissed About Something Other Than Never Having To Work Again

Illustration for article titled Maybe Its Just Us, But Michelle Obama Seems Pissed About Something Other Than Never Having To Work Again

We know the words "First Lady" lack the respectability of, like, "handbag designer" or whatever — and it's not as if it the job ever leads to anything — but we're still scratching our heads at the weird blogger outcry over Michelle Obama quitting her job:

Just as we watch curvy, healthy-looking singers and actresses like Lindsay Lohan become anorexic too-blonde hoochies before our very eyes, so we're now in danger of having to watch the political version of that process: Any day now, Michelle Obama's handlers will have her glued into one of those Sunday-go-to-meeting Baptist grandma crown hats while smiling vapidly for hours at a time...Few could stand up to the pressure she's facing, especially from blacks, to sacrifice herself on the altar of her husband's ambition.

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Uh, earth to Debra Dickerson: That is not why Michelle keeps making all those weird passive-aggressive comments about putting the butter away. The reason we and other slightly more distinguished people named Maureen are so uncomfortable when Michelle Obama says stuff like "someday maybe he'll deserve all the attention" or "he's just a man" or calls him "the brother" even when she knows it makes the white folks uneasy is pretty simple: "The brother" fucked up!

It wasn't Gennifer or even Monica; it was probably just some one-night fling. And Michelle's forgiven him because the other woman totally wasn't even that thin, but it's just so hard to stay forgiving, because, I mean, what a total dumbass man-move to make, right? Isn't it just like a DUDE to sleep with some fawning, butt-ugly City Hall aide one night after budget negotiations and then persist in forgetting to put the butter away, leaving it melting vulnerably on the counter? As if the FUCKING DOG isn't fat enough already? Jesus, Barack! And you're supposed to be all "clean" and "fresh"? You totally remind us of our fucking ex-boyfriend.

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Michelle Obama's Sacrifice [Salon]

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