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May Vogue Visits The Future And The Future Is Missing A Clavicle

Illustration for article titled May iVogue/i Visits The Future And The Future Is Missing A Clavicle

You just CAN'T LOOK AWAY, can you folks? The May Vogue is ...just...that...breathtaking. A staggering work of backbreaking Photoshop! Featuring none other than Jezebel's sweetheart Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh Gwyneth! Never have you so resembled a Bratz doll on barbiturates! And how sweet that you take such pains in the text to make yourself out to be so very very down-to-earth. You've gone entire days without a nanny! You own an article of clothing from the Gap! Such a simple, simple life you lead! Well anyway, Plum Sykes seems to approve. And you, Plum! How distinctly we remember someone in Bergdorf Blondes musing that she couldn't get a DVD player because people who have DVD players have no place to go. Quaint, right? (Like you could visit Middle Earth or the future without a DVD player, Plum.) Anyway, we rewrite the most nerd convention-friendly Vogue ever printed after the jump.

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Illustration for article titled May iVogue/i Visits The Future And The Future Is Missing A Clavicle
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Earlier: French (Photo Retouchers) Don't Let Famous Women Get Fat












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DISCUSSION

ButterShouldNotBePassed
Mama Penguino

@ineffable.me: Wasn't that heart-breaking? And call me cynical, but it didn't ever seem that they actually DID accept her. She claimed to have felt like one of the "us," but even at the end, the old Roger dad made a point that she was not one of his kids. I thought she was in denial.