Mashed Potato Bandit Terrorizes Mississippi Neighborhood

A neighborhood in Jackson, Mississippi is being plagued with mysterious bowls of mashed potatoes left on their cars, porches, and mailboxes.

Belhaven residents are baffled by the potatoes, which, judging by a photo published in the New York Post, appear to be skin-on and buttered:

“We don’t know if someone is just playing a prank or if someone just had a lot of leftovers,” Belhaven resident Jordan Lewis told the Post.

Belhaven sounds like an odd and possibly charming place to live, as residents are known to put Christmas trees in potholes and decorate their road signs, so this might just be more of the same. But it remains possible that there is something darker, and potentially deadly, at play (cue Masterpiece Mystery theme music):

“‘Some people were thinking maybe the mashed potatoes were poisoned to kill animals,’” [resident Sebastian Bjernegard] said, noting that he almost stepped into a bowl of potatoes Tuesday. “‘I didn’t taste it. I have a three-second rule, so I didn’t touch it. But some people were worried.’”

Law enforcement is not currently involved, which means amateur sleuths with plans to be in Mississippi should get started cracking this case and feel free to email me with the progress of all investigations. Here’s the first clue: some, but not all, of the tuber targets have connections to a nearby Christian university. That should be enough to get everyone started.