Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims She Was ‘Attacked’ by ‘Insane’ Woman in Restaurant

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.)—who once stalked school shooting survivor David Hogg outside of the Capitol, harassed AOC in the halls of Congress, and just recently heckled President Joe Biden during his State of the Union address while cosplaying as Cruella de Vil—has a message for the masses: “People used to respect others even if they had different views. But not anymore. Our country is gone.” K.

Greene claimed on Twitter Monday night that she was “attacked” by “an insane women [SIC]” and “screamed at by her adult son.” It’s interesting that she’s able to share specific details like the familial relationship between her alleged assailants, but hasn’t been able to tell anyone which restaurant this happened in or offer any further supporting evidence. Lost in the hollandaise sauce, I suppose!

It’s also strange there’s no videos of the vicious assault, even though everything else Greene does, like yelling at Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) in her office through the mail slot in the door and demonstrating chaotic Crossfit pull-ups, seems to be caught on film. Huh! Cameras have even caught her appearing to kick a gun control advocate. But everyone’s phones must have been tucked away Monday night as they worked hard to draft new laws endangering the lives of trans youth and make up straw man arguments about critical race theory in kindergarten classes.

For a party grossly preoccupied with “liberal snowflakes” and “woke warriors,” it never ceases to amuse me how hellbent Republicans are on maintaining safe spaces at their local Maggianos. Remember when Brett Kavanaugh wasn’t able to finish his dessert at a Morton’s Steakhouse, and the rep for the restaurant had to release a statement that said, “Politics, regardless of your side or views, should not trample the freedom at play of the right to congregate and eat dinner”? Because I do, and it makes me smile every time I hear the words “brandy cheesecake.”

There is simply not a world where I can muster up any sympathy for people who burn the midnight oil to harm queer kids and troll mass shooting survivors having their happy hours interrupted. And besides, what alternate timeline is MTG living in that she thinks she’s shown any respect ever to people with opposing views? It must be one in which the Civil War didn’t happen, because last week she called for a “national divorce” between red states and blue states as if that were a novel idea. Hon, we need you to watch Cold Mountain.

Maybe this horrific restaurant experience, if her account is anything close to what happened, will cause MTG to cook at home for the time being—although, we saw what that looked like over Thanksgiving, and it was a pretty upsetting sight, too. My thoughts and prayers are with her as she figures out how to make sizzling fajitas at home. Just kidding, I hope her gas stove gives out.