Poor Zoe Glassner. Sure, the aspiring trophy wife has a great job as "Shopping Editor" of the newly-revamped Marie Claire, but the poor dear seems to be under the impression that actor Jude Law, is like, available. (Or even hot anymore. -Ed.). In the latest "Shop Talk With Zoe" in the June issue of the magazine, Zoe brags that she's just six-degrees of separation from Law — her friend went to school with a guy who's married to a designer who knows Jude's sister — intimating that this "connection" might score her some sort of amorous audience with the guy. Unfortunately for Zoe, Jude's taken up with Kim Hersov, a glamazon from another Hearst magazine, British Harper's Bazaar. But Zoe shouldn't fret: Kim may be taller and blonder, but she's also got Jude's tiny penis to contend with.
I never understood the Jude Law attraction even before he "got gross." He always seemed like a bicurious hairless imp with a small head and hyena teeth who gets rashes really easily.
And besides, isn't it a given that being Jude's significant other guarantees a mandatory three-way with Sadie Frost?