Gather ‘round, Lambs, for your queen Mariah Carey graced a room full of television critics at TCA with her presence and by all accounts, it was a textbook example of Doing The Most.
Showing up to her panel to promote her upcoming E! reality miniseries, Mariah’s World, with a coterie of shirtless men who assembled their bodies to form a couch for her to recline upon, Carey served the audience chilled Veuve before settling in to field questions like the goddamn lunatic she truly is.
According to Deadline, much of the conversation veered towards her “abusive” experience as a judge on American Idol — a subject so distressing to Carey that she reportedly required more Champagne to drink in order to process it in full.
After sitting upon the shirtless, oiled-up dudes for a spell, she retired to her second prop — a velvet throne, natch — and answered questions about her upcoming show which will probably be just as entertaining as this event was.
Lest you misspeak and refer to what is very clearly a reality show produced by reality show juggernaut E!, Carey will correct you very quickly. “I don’t even watch reality — I don’t even know what reality is, literally,” she said in reference to the, uh, “documentary,” which will be a behind the scenes look at what goes into staging a world tour when you’re a famous and delightfully loony diva like Mariah Freaking Carey.
As for revealing any salient details about the show, Carey was pretty tight-lipped, but she did reveal that any footage featuring her ex-husband Nick Cannon was proooobably left on the cutting room floor. The same goes for #DemBabies. When asked if they’d be making an appearance and how her wedding planning was going, Carey responded “That’s two questions and almost as high as I can count.” James Packer, her bajillionaire fiancé who gave her an engagement ring so giant that you can probably see it from space will probably make the cut.
Oh, and this exchange happened, when Carey was asked about any younger, fresher, dewier female singers that she liked by an unsuspecting journalist who probably didn’t know what they were in for.
“There’s a few,” she answered, which should have been a red flag.
The dumb bunny asked Carey who they were.
“They would be lovely ladies. And it’s not their day.”
Buckle up, my little butterflies. Mariah’s World premieres on E! Sunday, December 4th.