Well we, lost a few good ones yesterday, including... Vanderpump Rules! Lala Kent is shaking her tatas with disgust right now, y’all.
Other farewells: Jia is crying over the loss of Shark Tank, TLC Programming just barely squeaked past Dinner Parties From Hell, and the aggressive matchup of Teen Moms vs. Non BCCed Group Party Emails meant Teen Moms is no more. Plus, Keeping Up With the Kardashians is officially dunzo. What a world: the Kardashians were knocked out before we even got to the Sweet 16.
Moving on! Which will prevail in the game of determining the most digustingly, inevitably American item? Here’s your updated bracket.
From the Reality TV Business division:
Judge Judy (8) tries to knock out Faking An Illness (4) to get attention. Does the Judge have what it takes? And it’s E!’s Botched (3) vs. Bravo’s Top Chef (15); which butchering is more your cup of tea?
And from the Reality TV Casual division:
Every single last bit of TLC Programming (1) goes up against the thing that makes The Real World and The Bachelor tick: No Contact With The Outside World (4). And one emotion tries to unseat another: it’s Not Being Here To Make Friends (3) vs. Being Upset About What Cast Members Said About You On Twitter (15)
We get it, we get it, we get it.
Moving on to the Reality Business division:
The seriously inappropriate conceit of Non BCCed Group Party Emails (8) will maybe tackle the innate laziness of Ordering In (5). And a sort of new terror bangs up against a very old terror, which is Shopping At Sephora After Work (11) vs. Sleeping With Your Coworkers (7).
And in the Reality Casual division:
Having to sit through Splitting The Check At A Group Birthday Dinner (1) tries to unseat the general sadness that is Having To Make Friends (13). And lastly, a place we’ve all been, Seeing Someone Naked For The First Time (3) versus a place most of us have not been, Twins Separated At Birth (2).
As usual, you have 24 hours to vote.
Illustration by Jim Cooke