Friends, after many tragic defeats and many triumphant victories, March Madness has come to an end. In the epic battle of Sex Vs. Chocolate, we have a winner.

When it came down to Missionary vs. Brownies, Missionary won with 64.84% of the vote. And since a vote for Missionary is a vote for sex, when it comes down to the sex versus chocolate debate, most of us would choose sex. Most! There was a deep divide amongst the voters. As one commenter noted:

You know, no matter how boring the sex, it will probably always be better than eating just a brownie. Brownies just don't satisfy everything.

To which another replied:

Girlfriend, you are eating the WRONG brownies.

And someone else declared:

Brownies: always a pleasure, even with a UTI.

But for some, the Missionary vs. Brownies battle was a wash:

What the what? I think a life alone with my cats sounds more fulfilling.


Still. Sex won. Missionary was declared The Best in The Sex Conference. And Missionary will join Corgi and Cheesecake in the Hall of Fame. Long live Missionary. Long live Sex. Long live March Madness.