We've come so far. 15 days ago, 32 brave warriors entered the arena. Sixteen sexy sex positions. Sixteen scrumptious chocolate confections. Today, only four are left… And Monday, the Best Type of Sex will have a showcase showdown against The Best Type of Chocolate. There can only be one winner. Will it be sex or chocolate?
First, let us mourn the falling of our intimate friend Oral Sex. Shocker: The number one seed choked. Honestly, I thought Oral would lick 'em all, and shiver with pleasure as the winner of this game. But apparently no carpet munching, no blow job could beat penetration, and Missionary enters the arena with a big old grin. Mish presses up against Doggystyle in the final match of the Sex Conference.
Over in the Chocolate Conference, Dark Chocolate simply melted in a match against Chocolate Ice Cream, and Brownies defeated everyone's hometown favorite, Chocolate Cake. I won't lie… I had a feeling Brownies were gonna go all the way.
If you're just joining us, WTF. Where have you been? We could have used your votes earlier. Click here for a printable PDF of the original bracket, or click the image at left for an updated version. Rules of gameplay can be found here.
So, friends, these are your FINAL FOUR:
- Ice Cream
Let's take a closer look at these match-ups.
Thrusting, penetration, sure, that's a given. But what about eye contact? Do you want it or not? Also, angle of entry. Also, access to mouth and nipples. Also, which can you do in the bathroom of a bar? Things to thing about!
Do you like it hot or cold? Do you like it creamy or rich? Does your tongue crave the sweet, chilly thrill of frozen, milky cocoa? Or do you prefer the warm, steamy, crumbly, moist, rich, chocolatey chocolate you can only get from a brownie? Choose wisely!
Okay, folks. Get your faces painted. Recruit some friends. Rally for your team. This is it! Polls close 11pm Sunday night. That's right, they're open all weekend.