March Madness Final Four: Weed, Caffeine, Champers and Vodka

Booze hounds and dope fiends, we have arrived at the March Madness: Drugs vs. Alcohol Final Four and soon — within mere days — this violent, furious competition will come to a close with only one winner. Looks like we’ve come to the eeeeeend of the roooooad and still I can’t let these drugs and alcohols go.

(It’s unnatural.) (They belong to me.) (I belong to them.)

The closer we get to the finish line, the more challenging our choices get and yesterday was no exception. Unfortunately, four substances had to lose so the others could go on. Cocaine, Blue Moon, Xanax (I’ll miss you most of all) and Margarita: Thank your for your bravery. You’ll be missed in our brackets, but never in our systems.

Here’s the updated bracket featuring your Drugs vs. Alcohol Final Four:

In the Drug conference, it all comes down to the Weed (1), the herbal remedy that removes all of life’s edges, and Caffeine (1), the blesséd angel of the morning that gives you the edge you need to conquer the day. Do you vote to wind up or wind down? Listen to these weed and caffeine themed jams while you take sometime to think about it.

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Hopping on over to the Alcohol arena, there is an INTENSE battle to see who between the Russian Rager Vodka (2) and the Fightin’ French Champagne (1) will go on to challenge the champion of ALL DRUGS in the finals.

Remember the past when you didn’t have to choose and vodka and champagne were left to exist in harmony? Drink with me to days gone by! Sing with me the songs we knew! And then vote vote vote.