Elite Eight baby! It’s sort of incredible to see how far we’ve come. I mean, Top Chef could go all the way—really, people?

For the most part, all the shows have been knocked out and only general conceits remain. Say goodbye to Botched. Say goodbye to every last TLC program. Cry over Non BCCed Group Party Emails. Judge Judy barely hedged out Faking An Illness, but still: bye bye.

Here’s your updated bracket. Decide now which one you can’t picture going on without—whether for better or worse—and which one is a flash in the pan.

Okay, for your Reality TV Business division: it’s Judge Judy (8) vs. Top Chef (15).


And in your Reality TV Casual division, it’s No Contact With The Outside World (4) vs. Not Being Here To Make Friends (3). Fitting, really, that it’s come to this.


And in Reality Business division, decide whether Ordering In (5) or Sleeping With Your Coworkers (7) should prevail.

Finally, in the Reality Casual division, it’s between Splitting The Check At A Group Birthday Dinner (1) and Seeing Someone Naked For The First Time (3).


Illustration by Jim Cooke.