Manon, I Invoke Thee To Stop This Remake Of The Craft

Well, it happened. Hollywood is bastardizing yet another one of our cherished movies. This time, it’s Sony remaking The Craft. Let’s all call the corners and invoke Manon to stop this madness.

The movie will be directed by writer-director Leigh Janiak, whose first film, Honeymoon, debuted last year at SXSW. She will also pen the script with Phil Graziadei, her co-writer from Honeymoon, reports Variety. Doug Wick, the producer of the original movie, will return along with partner Lucy Fisher who was vice chairman of Columbia Pictures during the 1996 flick.

I was one of the lucky ‘90s teens who experienced the original release in a movie theatre, then went straight to Barnes and Noble to buy a copy of Silver Ravenwolf’s Teen Witch: Wicca for a New Generation and converted my wardrobe into a sea of fishnets and black lace. My friends and I found the Malibu caves where they filmed a scene from the movie and I bought a candelabra at the Hollywood witchcraft store that Fairuza Balk owned. I was a total Craft groupie. I’m one part filled with rage while the other part of me is just flipping her hair because there’s a chance that this remake will probably fade into obscurity like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) or The Omen (2006).

They’ll probably have a modern version of bad witch Nancy, but will she scare the living shit out of us as much as Fairuza Balk did? Whoever is cast has some big, pointy witch shoes to fill.