As a child, I had a small but well-curated Beanie Baby collection. I’d been informed by the budding capitalists in my third grade class that Tuffy the Terrier and my Princess Diana bear would be worth millions by the time I grew up. This never came to pass: when I was in college, my parents gave my Beanie Babies to someone else’s child, enabling that undeserving kid to reap the eBay benefits instead of me. And so I sympathize with one Indiana man, whose parents threw out 12 boxes filled with his porn videos and magazines. He’s suing them for $87,000.
According to West Michigan station FOX 17, the 40-year-old plaintiff, dubbed “Charlie,” says he and his many beloved porn videos and magazines moved into his parents’ house in Grand Haven, Michigan in October 2016, while he was in the midst of a divorce. He left in August 2017 (allegedly after cops showed up on a domestic violence call) and moved to Indiana, and though his parents claimed they drove all his stuff to his new residence, the man noticed that they left his porn behind. When Charlie inquired about it, his father allegedly told him he destroyed all 12 boxes worth, plus two additional boxes of sex toys.
Per FOX 17:
Just a month after filing a police report, Charlie apparently began corresponding with his father via email. Telling him in part, “If you had a problem with my belongings, you should have stated that at the time and I would have gone elsewhere. Instead you choose to keep quiet and behave vindictively.”
His father, according to the lawsuit, responded, “Believe it or not, one reason for why I destroyed your porn was for your own mental and emotional heath. I would have done the same if I had found a kilo of crack cocaine. Someday, I hope you will understand.”
Not only does this seems like some serious kink-shaming, but it cost Charlie a real chunk of cash: according to a police report he filed, all the porn was worth about $28,940.72, hence the suit.
Anyway, it seems like much of this crisis (not to mention much unpleasantness at future Thanksgivings) could have been avoided had he just gotten his porn fix from Pornhub like the rest of us.