Man Arrested for Exposing Himself Blames Itchy 'Manzilian'

A Washington man was arrested for exposing himself on the highway and then hiding in the bushes with his pants off outside a Burger King. Don’t worry, though, he wasn’t doing anything creepy. He just had his pants off because he was itchy from a very recent and very thorough waxing.

When a trooper caught up to David Foskette outside the Burger King (where you can no longer have it your way if your way is skulking around bushes with your drawers down) and asked him just what exactly he thought he was doing, Foskette responded that he had exited his car because he needed to fart and didn’t want to do it in his vehicle. Reasonable. I saw that episode of The Sarah Silverman program, too. You should never fart in a car. (Many of us will still do it at least twice today.)

Police searched Foskette’s car and found a pack of opened condoms. A witness reported that Foskette had passed her in his car touching himself and sticking his tongue out of the side of his mouth. This is also what I do when I am itchy. Except I can’t drive so I do it in the privacy of my own home.