Male Gaze To Fix Latvian Economy

Tiny Latvia has not been having a good decade. The country of 2.2 million has had to cut services for its citizens as the effects of the ongoing global financial slump has ravaged its fiscal health. Last year, the Baltic country’s economy shrank 18 percent. Everyone is sad. What’s a formerly Soviet bloc country to do?

Why, organize a giant parade of blonde women dressed in all pink clothing, of course!

The third annual Blonde Parade was held this past weekend in Riga, and it was the biggest ever and everyone came into town and just looked at some blondes. It was great.

“We have more than 500 participants registered, including a 15-member team from New Zealand, seven ladies from Finland and Italy and 32 from Lithuania,¨ said Marika Gederte, head of the Latvian Association of Blondes.

Unsurprisingly, the biggest audience for the Paradin’ O’ The Blondes is men who presumably haven’t yet gotten used to how women look (dude, they have hair and breasts and legs and stomachs and arms and they wear lipstick. It’s fucking unreal.)

The Blondeapalooza isn’t just there for the boys (who, I’m guessing, will probably be boys), though. Organizers and participants in the events surrounding the parade are donating a portion of the proceeds to a home for disabled children.

(Have you ever noticed that supremely stupid things attempt to shield themselves from real criticism by donating money to charity? It’s like paying an idiot tax, so jerks like me can’t make fun of them without feeling like kind of an asshole.)