Make All the Bears Laugh at You With Anthropologie's $9,000 Tent

Are you an avid indoorsman with $9,000 to spare? Do you want to send a loud and clear message to your fellow campers that, in the event of an apocalypse, you should definitely be the first people eaten? Then does Anthropologie ever have the tent for you.

The Altair tent, available now for order from the tweetailor’s website, offers 216 square feet of indoors-but-outdoors luxury, but does not include flags or wood flooring, oh god help you if you think you’re getting flags or wood flooring, missy. It’s also styled to look like one of the tents from the tournament in Disney’s Robin Hood, an added bonus if you want to spend your Gwyneth Paltrow fantasy glamping trip or beachside vacation very confused about the fuckability level of a cartoon fox.

It seems that at least one shopper has caught on to the ridiculousness of paying $9,000 to live like it’s 9,000 BC, leaving the following review on Anthropologie’s website:

perf for the pool!

CONS: no air conditioning

After going through a “gypsy” phase (to be young again..) my parents bought me this tent as a retreat to conduct my crystal therapy. Let me tell you, the tent is PERFECT; that being said note that assembly IS required, but with the help of my kind gardeners I pitched this baby in no time! This tent will make a great addition to any courtyard/lawn. Perfect place to work through ennui. Enjoy and namaste!

I’d imagine it’s only a matter of time before the entire comments section is overtaken by similar reviews (but, you know, funnier). Hint, hint.