The spine of Allure reads "The Beauty Expert." That's the mag's claim to fame. Nowhere does it say that the publication is for the mentally handicapped, three year olds, those recovering from spinal cord injuries or Neanderthals. (Or Cro-Mags, heh.) So it is impossible to comprehend why the glossy felt the need to publish a step-by-step charticle on how to take a shower. And yeah: It's illustrated. We suspect that they have just. Run. Out. Of. Ideas. Click the cover to see the piece in question.