Lululemon Investors Blame Financial Woes on CEO's 'Dumpy' Body

Good to know that it isn’t just Lululemon’s customer base that’s subject to snide fat-shaming and goofball body standards—it’s also their leader! According to some intrepid New York Post reporting, multiple Lululemon shareholders are very concerned about CEO Laurent Potdevin’s business acumen. And by that they mean his thunder thighs.

Lululemon shares dropped more than 5% Monday, following an underwhelming presentation by Potdevin about his plans for the company’s turnaround (a turnaround presumably necessitated, at least in part, by founder Chip Wilson’s shitty opinions about fat ladies’ butts in his dumb pants). When questioned by the Post, shareholders were vocal about their concerns regarding Potdevin’s body shape.

“He was kind of … dumpy,” one shareholder said, noting that Potdevin wore baggy clothes with an untucked shirt that failed to hide a bulging stomach.

“If he’s a competent leader, he’s a competent leader,” another investor said. “But you’ve got to ask whether this guy is really in touch with the mind-set of his core customer in the athletic space.”

A third investor said Potdevin’s less-than-chiseled frame might be a good thing for the brand, given last year’s furor over comments from founder Chip Wilson, who blamed see-through yoga pants partly on oversize customers.

It’s true. If there’s one thing I (probably would have) learned at Harvard Business School (if I had gone there), it’s that you can never trust a CEO whose thighs rub together when it walks.

Seriously, though, fat-shamey business fancies. If you guys really think that the only people qualified to manage, market, and sell a given product are people with a track record of personal investment/experience/skill re: that product, then I assume you’ll be calling for all male CEOs to step down from companies that market to women? Like, this guy, as the non-menstruating CEO of Procter & Gamble, probably shouldn’t be selling me tampons. And these motherfuckers probably shouldn’t be regulating the interior of my uterus. And, I don’t know, maybe any rich dickhead who had a hand in sinking the entire fucking economy probably shouldn’t be handling people’s money anymore. Just a thought! It was your idea!

Anyhoo, kudos. You figured out a way to blame fat people for the failure of your dumb fucking pants company that won’t even take fat people’s money. I’m impressed. 4.5 stars.