Lucky Magazine's Idea Of "Sexy" Simply Isn't

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Captions are just sooooooooo hard to write sometimes! The effort it takes Lucky magazine editors to describe the true essence of the latest satchel or wedge must be so backbreaking that they often dump redundancy in favor of just making shit up. (Granted, most of the invented words are just real words with "-y" added to the end like "antiquey," "blousy," or "goddessy". But the annoyingly stupid ones like "glowifying" "louche" and "hipsterish" (used twice!) really just, I don't know, blow.) Don't get us wrong, there are times that we enjoy turning off our brains and numbly flipping through Lucky with only two reactions: "Bleh" or "THAT'S CUTE." [What about: "Yes!" and "Maybe"? -Ed.] But since we actually read women's magazines so you don't have to, we can't help but point out the biggest offender in the April Lucky: "sexy," used some twelve times. After the jump, we show you what's "sexy" on the pages of the magazine we love to hate and hate to love.

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Illustration for article titled iLucky/i Magazines Idea Of Sexy Simply Isnt

Lucky Says: "Low-key (and sexy!) Hair and makeup" Where: On the cover, referring to the hair and makeup feature starting on page 180, specifically this type of eyeliner.

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Illustration for article titled iLucky/i Magazines Idea Of Sexy Simply Isnt

Lucky Says: "Sexy racerback straps" Where: page 102

Illustration for article titled iLucky/i Magazines Idea Of Sexy Simply Isnt

Lucky Says: "Sweetly sexy silk dresses" Where: In the table of contents, referring to the dresses in the feature starting on page 95

Illustration for article titled iLucky/i Magazines Idea Of Sexy Simply Isnt
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Lucky Says: "These sexy peep-toe heels" Where: page 248

Illustration for article titled iLucky/i Magazines Idea Of Sexy Simply Isnt
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Lucky Says: "Makeup that's sexy and full of attitude" (Look familiar?) Where: page 180

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Lucky Says: "Thick enough for a subtle, sexy shine, yet sheer enough to feel sophisticated and barely there." Where: page 168

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Lucky Says: "Not only does this drape gorgeously, the deep front and keyhole back are amazingly sexy." Where: page 85

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Lucky Says: " The key to making buttery yellow jeans super sexy is to wear them super-skinny." Where: page 256

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Lucky Says: [Regarding smudging pale eyeshadow and dark eyeliner as opposed to smudging dark eyeshadow with dark eyeliner] "It's also significantly easier to do — and the sexy slept-in effect is the same." Where: page 184, part of the makeup feature starting on page 180

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Lucky Says: "A sexy fresh blend of Egyptian Jasmine, Turkish Rose attar, and Damascus plum." Where: page 164

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Lucky Says: "Sparkling and floral, this sophisticated fragrance is also sexy and mysterious." Where: On page 82, referring to another perfume featured again on page 164

Illustration for article titled iLucky/i Magazines Idea Of Sexy Simply Isnt
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Lucky Says: "As a manicure, it's too daring for me, but there are those who will pull it off; on toes, its sexy and funny, which is the best one can hope for in polish, no?" Where: page 176

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DISCUSSION

Ugh.

The model looks slightly lost and confused, especially with the make-up, the eyeliner seems to make one of her eyes bigger than the other.

I remember when 'sexy' used to be a forbidden word, bestowed upon people sparsely. Now, it's morphed into a bouncy implant of a word.

Jhumpa Lahiri said it best: "What is sexy?" " 'Sexy' is loving somebody you don't know."

Also. I didn't know 'sexy' included dresses I could see through. I always thought it was 'slutty' or (most likely) 'wardrobe malfunction'.

I saw this cover in line at the grocery store, and I remember wishing Hilary Duff wore something...funner and more daring. But, perhaps it's best that she isn't dressing like other people her age [ex. Lohan].