It’s been a while since I’ve had to think about my favorite actor/DJ, and thank god, because I’m very easily upset!
However, there has been big news in Ansel Elgortland: Variety reports that he is one of a dozen actors (others include Miles Teller, Dave Franco, and Scott Eastwood) shortlisted to play Young Han Solo in an as-yet untitled Star Wars spinoff that nobody asked for.
Pew pew pew! Motherfuckers, he is here! Masculinity, nerve, struggling facial hair, the confident, sweaty mien of your 3rd grade secret admirer who first made you feel weird about your body—it’s Ansel Elgort as Han Solo, A.K.A. Han “Ansolo” Solo, A.K.A. DJ HANSOLO HIMSELF, dropping massive beats and defeating haters in a galaxy near you! And it’s fate, because a long time ago, in a fancy NYC borough far far away, Ansel Elgort’s original EDM alter ego was Hanzolo. What a good DJ name, and also, what a coincidence!
May the rave be with you—in hell!
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