Liveblogging Joe Biden's Acceptance Speech (And Barack's Surprise Appearance!!)

Illustration for article titled Liveblogging Joe Biden's Acceptance Speech (And Barack's Surprise Appearance!!)

Still here, and now it's Biden's turn. Yeah, I got up to go to the bathroom and got involved in conversations and I sort of didn't expect that it would happen so quickly after Clinton's speech, but only because all the batteries in all my watches died. Anyway, so, there's another video montage! And an acceptance speech.11:00 ET: "We Are Family" cover. Man, how is Sister Sledge not in the house? Okay, now I'm done. 10:59 ET: More Bruce Springsteen. And lots of hugging, apparently. The end. Time to, like, make up for all the drinks I didn't drink yet tonight. 10:57 ET: "Change in America doesn't start from the top down, it starts from the bottom up." He's opening up the convention so that more people can see him and get on board the Change Train. 10:56 ET: Some of these people: legitimately shocked. They should get on Twitter. 10:55 ET: The whole Biden family is on his journey and Barack is happy. Mama Biden kicks Mama McCain's ass, dudes. 10:54 ET: That's right, bitches! Barack is back! 10:53 ET: Oh, and I wasn't talking about Jill. 10:52 ET: We're all ready, ad you're all awesome and he's so done! Only, don't stop refreshing because there's something is coming up next... A little surprise. And Bruce Springsteen tunes ain't it. 10:49 ET: Obama's always right, and John McCain is always wrong. "Should we trust John McCain's judgment, when...?" Man, seriously, repetition is a good public speaking technique but it isn't the only one. Please, Hillary speech writers, come back! 10:48 ET: That's right Afghanistan isn't a success. Just ask Spencer. 10:47 ET: Did he just call them "Great Powers"? I thought I was done with IR classes. 10:46 ET: I like the equal pay meme. 10:45 ET: Repeats the "good soldier/wise leader" line from his Saturday speech. I think we're seeing the results of picking someone so late in the process. God, how many fucking times is he going to say "change." 10:43 ET: "That's not change, that's more of the same." This is fucking lame, Biden speech writers. Four times? Oh, God, you know he'll hit 7. 10:43 ET: Change again! Drink up, drinky. 10:42 ET: John McCain's his friend, but he's kind of a stupid asshole. I mean, we all have friends like that. 10:42 ET: He said change three times! Three shots! 10:40 ET: Um, also, I'm gonna just guess here than 150,000 more children and families have health care in Illinois, not "150" as Joe just said. 10:40 ET: "Work is more than a paycheck. It's dignity. It's respect." Said by someone who ain't working for the weekend. 10:39 ET: South Side of Chicago! Drink again, people. 10:38 ET: Biden gaffe: calls John McCain "George Mc... whoops, Freudian slip!" 1036 ET: We're all equal! Also, equality of opportunity! It's the American dream, only it's slowly slipping away... so drink! Because they said it again. 10:35 ET: Oh, his mom calls him "Joey." Eh, 'ow you doin'. 10:34 ET: Standing O for Joe's mom! 10:33 ET: His pledge? "No longer will you hear the 8 most dreaded words in the English language: 'The Vice President's office is on the phone.'" People laugh because everyone hates Dick Cheney, not because the joke was funny. Joe needs to find Hillary's speech writers. 10:32 ET: He accepts the nomination, like, totally. 10:31 ET: "Beau-y, I love you." Aw, man, he sounds a little choked up 10:30 ET: Way better than Bill Clinton at stopping the applause. 10:29 ET Joe Biden introduced to "Pink Houses" cover. Man, does no one in America ever listen to the lyrics? 10:28 ET: Completely unsubtle reminder that Beau's heading to Iraq for George Bush's war. 10:26 ET: "Many people don't know" about Joe Biden's stutter? Anyone who's been watching this convention does because someone mentions it every day. 10:26 ET: "He, my brother and I married my mom Jill." Um, sort of ew? 10:25 ET: "He was sworn in at the hospital at my bedside." I don't want sappy Joe, I want mean Joe. 10:23 ET: Captain Beau Biden. I thought he'd be hotter. He did the McCain's thumbs-up. 10:19 ET: He has accepted the nomination. Video time! 10:18 ET: Pelosi asks for a second, and then it goes through. 10:17 ET: Quincy Willis places Senator Joe Biden's name in nomination



Sweet baby jesus, this introduction would make a stone cry. A literal stone.