Live, From New York: It's Michael Phelps

Illustration for article titled Live, From New York: It's Michael Phelps
  • Michael Phelps will host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live. Um, swimming skits? Will you watch if he's not bare-chested? Just asking. [Yahoo News]
  • Lindsay Lohan responds to the stuff her dad's been saying: "He's out of control. I want him to stop hurting and talking to the media about the people I love." [Perez Hilton]
  • Sam Ronson responds to LL's dad too: "i really don't want to say anything because i feel like he wins- he, being the man who is so desperate for attention that he goes to the media whenever possible… i am not the reason that he has no contact with his daughter… i feel no need to publicly defend my role in lindsay's life… i'm just sorry that she likes me more than him… i'm not the one that is so lost that i need to use my relationship with lindsay to earn a living…" There's more! [Perez Hilton]
  • Hilary Duff's dad was sentenced to 10 days in jail for contempt of court for violating a court order that prohibited him from selling off assets without the consent of his estranged wife, Susan. Susan was requesting $25,000 to celebrate Hilary's 21st birthday (9/28), and pretty much calling Bob Duff a deadbeat dad for not paying up. On one hand, surely Hilary has her own cash? On the other hand, a father has to do what a father is legally obligated to do. He was taken from the courtroom in handcuffs… [Yahoo News]
  • No Britney at the MTV Awards? "Contrary to media reports, Britney was never slated to perform on this year's VMAs," Brit's manager, Larry Rudolph, says. "She's in the middle of recording her next album, which is going amazingly well, and her focus remains on the studio." So why was she in the commercials with Russell Brand and an elephant? Is this an elaborate ruse? [AP]
  • Ladies, listen up: Gerard Butler likes women to make the first move. "I am for equal opportunities. Why should it be the guy's job to kiss? If a woman wants to kiss she should totally do that. I think it is awesome when women take the lead. I love that idea." Oh and click the link to see a very nice (and by nice I mean shirtless) pic. [ONTD]
  • Woody Allen had dinner with Jennifer Aniston. Could she replace Scarlett Johansson as his new film muse? [Yahoo News]
  • Solange Knowles: "I have to say, that was not a very professional introduction before. Please don't tie me into family and my brother-in-law's establishment." News anchor: "That wasn't live, Solange. That wasn't on live TV." Yes, there is video. [Just Jared]
  • Kate Moss naked in Interview magazine. [The.Life Files]
  • Britney may not be at the MTV awards, but Katy Perry will be. And MTV producers are looking for a lady she can kiss while she sings, "I Kissed A Girl." They want Lindsay Lohan. Think it's gonna happen? [E!]
  • Salma Hayek's ex-fiancé and baby daddy, billionaire heir François-Henri Pinault, has a new ladyfriend, equestrian Virginie Couperie. Here are pictures of them enjoying a "saucy holiday romp in Tuscany." The ONTD commenters have proclaimed Virginie a "downgrade." [Rush & Molloy]
  • Naomi Campbell's beau, Russian billionaire Vladimir Doronin dropped $18.5 million on a penthouse apartment for Naomi in Sao Paolo. She's thinking of settling down in Brazil. [Page Six]
  • So you know how there's a transgender contestant this cycle on America's Next Top Model? Janice Dickinson says: "I did it on my show first with Claudia (Charriez). But you know what? There's not going to be a moment where Tyra's not going to knock me off, so I'm not bothered by her." [MSNBC]
  • Bonnie Hunt says her new show will be "full of humor and definitely accessibility, curiosity and spontaneity." She also says: "It's not so much celebrating other people's bad moments in daytime television, which has been a trend for a long time, but almost celebrating what really makes us laugh, what makes us feel very human and normal at the top of who we are, not necessarily at the bottom of who we are." [Reuters]
  • Ben Affleck's been texting buddy/new dad Matt Damon from the DNC and Matt and his wife are "thrilled" about their new daughter, FYI. [People]
  • Some dude has rammed his car into the gates of the Playboy Mansion twice in the last two weeks, according to the LAPD. Think he's trying to get to the grotto? [LA Times]
  • Suge Knight was arrested and charged with assault after punching his girlfriend and pulling a knife on her. Death Row, indeed. [Reuters]
  • Tori Spelling may not be appearing on the new 90210, but what about 42-year-old Luke Perry? The new ladies in the cast say: "Oh. My. God. I love Dylan McKay" and "Are you kidding me? He's an amazing-looking man. Sexy!" Oh, and in unrelated news, new 9er AnnaLynne McCord, who played Eden on Nip/Tuck likes guns. "My birthday is next week and I'm getting the 380 Ruger and a .38 revolver." [Yahoo News]
  • Oh, and the new 90210 might be pretty racy. Shannen Doherty says: "All I know is there's a girl giving a guy a blow job in the first episode." Doherty and Jennie Garth both dish in this interview. [EW, ONTD]
  • A retired sheriff allegedly broke into Chris Cornell's home, wandered from room to room and urinated in a corner. He was hired by Cornell's ex-wife as a process server. Talk about pissed off. [TMZ]
  • Relations between Madonna and Elton John have been frosty since he accused her of lip-syncing four years ago. But! He went to her concert in Nice last night and they totes made up and are homies again, though Elton cracked, "I'll be found dead of uranium poisoning in three days." [Mirror]
  • Russell Simmons told his yoga teacher her classes had gotten too easy and were for "pussies," so she amped it up; he was seen collapsing into the fetal position. [Page Six]
  • Kate Moss's neighbors are in a spot of bother about a large crack that has appeared in the wall bordering her back garden. The wall could collapse, etc. Also, the paper just wanted to make "Kate Moss Crack Problem" jokes. [Mirror]
  • Jerry Seinfeld's lawyers read papers in court yesterday claiming that Jerry did not slander the woman who accused his wife of ripping off her cookbook. He was just trying to get laughs, mocking frivolous lawsuits. His lawyers are trying to get the defamation suit against him tossed out; Jerry called author Missy Chase Lapine a "wacko" and "mentally unhinged celebrity stalker." [NY Post]
  • Paul McCartney will perform in Israel for the first time, more than 40 years after the Beatles were blocked from giving a concert in the country. [Reuters]
  • Steve Foley, who played drums with the Replacements, has died. He was 49. He accidentally overdosed on prescription medication. [Reuters]
  • Neil Diamond performed earlier this week and his voice was raspy, so he's offering the audience at the Ohio concert a refund. Build me up, buttercup! [Reuters]
  • A toxicology test has been ordered in the death of Dr. Dre's son. [People]
  • "I haven't had this much fun since my ex-mother-in-law fell in a well" — Janice Dickinson, as she danced with models, celebrating the new season of her show. [Page Six]
  • "I'm no Meryl Streep." — Kim Kardashian. [USA Today]
  • "Just be polite. Listen to them and give them anything they want. You can't go wrong." Pete Doherty on picking up chicks. [Mirror]
  • "[Miley Cyrus] is just a little too tarty, forgive me. I don't want her to look like she's going into a convent school, but it's just a little too much for a 15-year-old. If I didn't know better, I'd swear she was 25." — Tim Gunn. [MNSBC]
  • "I couldn't do what Brad and Angie are doing. I wouldn't have the patience or dedication you need to take care of a family. I admire those qualities in other people but it's not for me. I'm doing exactly what I want to. I hang out with the same friends, I spend time in Italy, and then I go back to work. I try not to worry about anything else." — George Clooney. [Mirror]



Is there a certain amount of money one has to spend before a vacation turns into a "saucy holiday romp"? I bet you have to be European, too. I guess I'll take my long weekend and go pout at the state park.