Little Beauties, Or, The Making Of A Psychologically Damaged Child

Few people appreciate the amount of money and effort it takes to turn an innocent six-year-old girl into a tramped-up pageant queen. Thankfully, the VH1 News documentary Little Beauties: The Ultimate Kiddie Queen Showdown shows pageant moms in a refreshingly sympathetic light. (Shockingly, the program's narrator, "Mr. Tim," best known for announcing at every child beauty pageant worth entering, did not hold his subjects to the highest journalistic scrutiny.) In this clip, learn how to prep a little girl to "strut her stuff" with the ample use of spray tanner and a denture-like "flipper" to cover unsightly gap-toothed little smiles, and why it's wrong for a child to say, "Look Mommy, buh-buh-buh boobies!" but perfectly fine to dress her up like a ho.

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My little sisters both work as actresses, and they both have flippers that they wear when they are playing a character who isn't supposed to be missing teeth. They kinda freak me the hell out.