Literal Government Fat Cats Get in Fur-Flying Fight at 10 Downing Street

Government often initiates drama on a global scale, but interpersonal feuds will erupt in heated moments. The residents of 10 Downing Street were recently treated to the sight of two civil servants in a knock-down drag-out cat fight.

Larry the cat is a permanent resident of 10 Downing, hired to chase away mice and relieve the stress of anyone who manages to pet him. His position survived Brexit and David Cameron’s departure, despite the misapprehension that he belonged to the Cameron family. Larry belongs to no man, but he’ll defend what is his.

Over at the UK’s Foreign Office lives Palmerston the cat, a newer hire with something to prove. On Friday, Good Morning Britain correspondent Nick Dixon reported that this brewing feud had finally spilled over and lines were drawn:

Fur ripped! Collars torn off! This has been a long time coming for Palmerston and Larry. But who left triumphant?

Many concerned citizens are wondering why Dixon didn’t jump into the fray and break these Westminster babies apart, but he claims he was too far away to stop them. As my grandmother would say, nature in the raw is seldom mild. And it is the nature of great politicians to throw their passion into their work.

The plot thickens: apparently, this has been a longstanding issue, and the collar ripping is an old move. The Telegraph reported in August of 2016 that Palmerston and Larry have been going at it “hammer and tongs” for ages. Read this harrowing account from witness Steve Back, who runs a Twitter account called Political Pictures and was on the scene:

“The next thing we heard there was this terrible screaming. we turned around and they were fighting outside number 11 literally ripping fur off each other. Palmerston’s ear is in a terrible mess and Larry has lost his collar.”

He continued: “I went and broke them up, and as I broke them up I got scratched on the leg. I was wearing long trousers but the claws went through to my skin.

Black was concerned that Theresa May and other 10 Downing residents were not taking these conflicts seriously and claimed that eventually an “armed policeman pulled them apart and got a huge cut on his hand.”

He also expressed concern over a cat named Gladstone joining the Treasury department and plans for a Cabinet kitty; these concerns were well-founded, because in December of 2016, Ossie and Evie indeed joined the ranks. There are now five cats keeping control of the building’s mouse problems and tensions are high. The only thing that can be said in the situation’s favor is that it’s almost two years later, and both kitties have lived to fight another day. Just like Britain.