Lisa VanderPump, Unlikely Voice Of Reason

To me, it had always been a tie between Adrienne Maloof and Lisa Vanderpump as to who were the most glitzy and extravagant of the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, but due to the amount of spectacular attention paid to her dog Giggy and discovering that Vanderpump had been glamorous since the 80s, Lisa wins. So imagine my surprise when she continually acted as the clear-headed voice of reason throughout last night’s entire episode.

First, we met Kevin Lee — a man so flamboyantly spectacular that I can’t imagine he’s on the show for any other reason than sheer viral marketability by Bravo, but I’ll play along anyway — one of “the best” wedding planners in all of Beverly Hills. One problem: he disagrees with Lisa on virtually everything: Kevin wants to build a church in the backyard, make the reception the “number one party in Beverly Hills,” and even called Pandora’s idea for a pink-accented wedding dress “tacky.” When he insisted that it would cost roughly $1 million for the whole deal, Lisa replied, “What’s he going to do as party favors — give people a bag of money to go home with?” Later she demonstrated her superior judgement when she described missing Game Night by saying, “I’m sorry I missed it, but if I’d gone I’d probably have felt I was drowning in a bimbo soup.” I am so incorporating that phrase into my everyday vocabulary.

Speaking of Game Night, here’s how the fight between Brandi and the Richards sisters ended. Things almost turned physical when Brandi suggested Kim was doing crystal meth in the bathroom and was “cracked out of her mind,” but Kim got the last laugh by hiding Brandi’s crutches. Pay close attention to Taylor Armstrong’s exquisite facial expressions throughout the fight. Taylor’s face FTW.